Real Klingons Wear Pink in Star Trek: The Animated Series

Star Trek: The Animated Series

Star Trek: The Animated Series

Giant pink tribbles. Spock casting magic spells. The crew turning into babies, growing gills, or shrinking. Is there no weirdness that failed to occur on Star Trek: The Animated Series?

No. No, there isn’t. And that’s why the show, which ran from 1973-74, is pure, unadulterated awesome.

Though it occupies a dubious position in Trekkie canon, The Animated Series is a must-see for fans, who will be treated to a succession of wacky events involving the almost the entire cast of The Original Series.

Inexplicably, Chekov is gone. Equally inexplicably, every single alien being sounds suspiciPink Tribbles?ously like Scotty, Nurse Chapel or Uhura. Actually, the explanation was saving money by not hiring extra voice actors or Chekov’s actor, Walter Koenig.

But this enabled them to do something the Original Series could never do, by crewing the Enterprise with more aliens. Foremost among them are the six-limbed Arex, who occupies Chekov’s seat most of the time, and M’Ress, a cat-woman communications officer.

At the time of the Original Series, I don’t think it would have been possible to have shown a guy with an extra arm and leg, like Arex had, and M’Ress would have had a somewhat wooden expression if she’d been a real person with a face covered with fur.

And then there’s the fact that one of the people working on the show was colorblind.

As a result, Klingons wear pink and purple, and Klingons in Orchid?the Kzinti, who are supposed to be terrifying telepathic cat-wolverine-people, do too.

Plus there are pink tribbles. Giant pink tribbles. If there were a way to market these to 12-year-old girls Earth would be drowned in tribbles in a matter of hours. Talk about weapons of mass destruction!

Then there’s the elevator-music theme song, which definitely is worse than the theme song from Star Trek: Enterprise, no matter what anybody says, although the animated Enterprise is so darn cute it’s easy to forgive the tune.

If you have Netflix and loved Original Series Star Trek, or just want to kill a few hours watching pure, undiluted insanity in the form of the loopiest plots ever seen in any flavor of Star Trek, check out Star Trek: The Animated Series.

For more information, check out Memory Alpha, the go-to place for online information on Star Trek, and also the source of every picture above.

Poison, Snakefighting, Racial Slurs, and Deathtraps

Life is really kind of weird, when you think about it.

Today I got yet another shot–this time, a flu vaccine.

I don’t get these for myself, so much, as for other people I might come into contact with. My own immune system is pretty effective against these types of things, but apparently 90 percent of people who die of flu and flu-related causes are age 65 or older. And I do meet a lot of older folks, and would prefer not to make them sick. Plus there are infants and other people out there who can’t get the vaccine, and I don’t want to make them sick either.

It’s just a little strange to think that putting a little bit of a dead virus into your system can rile up your immune system enough to stop a live one. But it works, and it saves lives and misery.

Here are some other things that make very little sense, at least at first glance. … some of them make very little sense at last glance either, or at all the glances in between.

  • Why do people think natural is good? Cyanide is natural. Arsenic is natural. As far as I can tell, nature pretty much wants to kill us.
  • No, kindergarten doesn’t lead to a life of crime and debauchery. It may very well lead to a life of longing for naps and playtime, though.
  • If every major university made you defeat a snake in order to get your doctoral degree, you’d get… well, you’d get a site with helpful advice for scholarly snakefighting. Now I wonder how my dad subdued his assigned snake in order to become an official Ph.D.
  • The term “Monday” is apparently a racial slur. I honestly hadn’t ever heard that one before, and it’s kind of sad; Mondays (the day of the week, please) are already universally hated, and now here’s another little bit of odium to heap upon them which they haven’t even really earned.
  • When Switzerland isn’t being persistently neutral, producing cool folding knives and protecting the pope, it is apparently a deathtrap.
  • Finally, the Library of Congress has a notation for Klingon. But does it have Shakespeare in the original Klingon?

Star Trek: The Next Cover Band Is Also Not Impressed

I’ve been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation lately, all the way through, from Encounter at Farpoint to All Good Things. I’m a little less than halfway through the series, which has held up better than I had expected.

Yes, the hair is a little silly and yes, it’s a little early-90s preachy, but the characters don’t seem dated and most of the plotlines don’t either. (There are a few cringeworthy moments but none so awful as the hilariously awful space hippies of the original Star Trek.)

As it happens, the wonderful BoingBoing, I believe, posted two Star Trek links of late.

One is Spock Is Not Impressed, a one-note Tumblr blog which is good for a few laughs.

The other is Worf: The Cover Bands. Which… really needs to be seen to be believed. It’s pretty hilarious, though. My favorite one is the Mogh-Gos. Warning: There’s some nudity, but nothing that can’t be on the cover of an album. Although I suppose I didn’t read past the Mogh-Gos, either.

Star Wars, Star Trek

Today I have some Star Wars and Star Trek strangeness for your perusal.

First, here’s a graphic that shows themes in television science-fiction shows after Star Trek, allowing you to check out how popular space travel is compared to, say, time travel or robots.

There are some very definite trends clearly visible without much examination: sci-fi seems to have hit a peak around 1997-2001 and then it faded from the airwaves. Was it the popularity of X-Files that inspired so many people to produce science fiction around that time? Very interesting stuff.

Also, if you’re looking for a name for your band, and you are a big geek, you may want to look at this list of 50 Star Wars inspired band names, from Chewbacca Khan to Megadeth Star.

Or you can learn how characters from Star Wars would have acted if they’d used Facebook during the movies. (Fair warning: It’s kind of rude and crude, so if you don’t like that sort of humor, don’t click the link.)

The Babes of Star Trek

An astonishing amount of female eye-candy is featured in Star Trek, the original series. It seems like every episode has some new, scantily clad female guest star, who usually falls hard for Kirk, but sometimes, just for a change, goes for Spock, Scotty or McCoy.

Sometimes the ladies are aliens, and sometimes they’re human. Often, they represent a challenge of some sort to overcome, especially when they’re in some position of power, or perhaps they’re just psychotic androids bent on taking over the galaxy.

Sometimes they represent a different type of challenge, like Edith Keeler, at left and above, played by Joan Collins. Kirk had to let her die in order to restore the course of history in one of Star Trek’s most famous episodes, "The City on the Edge of Forever."

The women of Star Trek are, pretty much, all gorgeous.

I mention this because I’ve been watching Star Trek on Hulu, and I hadn’t seen most of the episodes before, so they are new to me.

I had always wondered why so many more men liked Star Trek than women, especially in the earlier days, and although I hate to be sexist, I have to think the abundance of scantily clad, amazingly gorgeous women may have something to do with it.

Unless you count William Shatner, who even at the time had a bit of a paunch, there is no corresponding male eye candy, or if there is, it’s been so thoroughly covered with bizarre costumes apparently made out of cheap sledding toys, that I haven’t noticed it.

Or maybe I just don’t think the men of 1966 were attractive. I don’t know.

But it’s very difficult to to accept William Shatner as male eye candy when the men are getting Julie Newmar (at left, looking very fierce), Joan Collins and Lee Meriwether.

It’s also rather difficult to accept the silly wigs most of these women are wearing.

Look at Julie Newmar (left, above), for example, whose acting skills really made the otherwise silly "Friday’s Child" into an episode that’s still entertaining and interesting today. Does anyone believe that’s her actual hair? If so, I have a bridge to sell you, cheap.

Some of the makeup they wear doesn’t hold up very well in 2009, either.

The most noticeable thing about all these gorgeous women, though, is that often, they have the power to make or break an episode with their acting talent.

Many of the episodes I’ve liked the most have had very strong female characters.

"Friday’s Child" focuses on an imperious pregnant queen (Julie Newmar) who for social reasons needs to kill her baby. "Is There in Truth No Beauty" focuses on the strange career of a blind telepath (Diana Muldaur, shown at the right) assisting an alien ambassador who must not be seen by the human eye. "Elaan of Troyius" focuses on the upcoming nuptials of a bossy, barbaric warrior princess, who needs to learn how to get along in her husband’s culture.

I’m not saying they’re feminist episodes, because often they aren’t.

The plotline of "Elaan" reads quite a bit like "The Taming of the Shrew," and as I noted before, people are making sexist comments about the nature of women more or less constantly throughout the show.

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t something to like, either. Just because they’re eye candy doesn’t mean they’re only eye candy.

Often, the babes of Star Trek have more to do with whether an episode of Star Trek is good or not than the main cast does.

Ruminations on Star Trek

Thanks to Hulu and CBS, I have been watching Star Trek (the original series) online now for a couple of weeks, lazing through an episode or three a night when I get home from work.

While I’ve seen many of the episodes before, I’ve also somehow missed quite a few of them. And now that I’m an adult, I see them differently anyway. Here are a few observations, which may be interesting to historians as well as Trekkers.

  • Race never came up for humans. In fact, it didn’t come up at all unless it was The Issue. You know, The Issue the episode really confronted, such as freedom vs. socialism, the stupidity of racism, the Frankenstein complex. Racism was also not visible. Uhura kicked a lot of butt and has been involved in at least one physical fight, which she won.
  •  Sexism, however, came up all the time. There haven’t been any negative remarks about race (even the Squire of Gothos is somewhat complimentary when he talks about Uhura being a Nubian or some such silliness) but there are remarks about women in several episodes. MOstly about how we should be warm and fluffy and sweet and kind. To the series’ credit, though, it does show women in important positions fairly frequently.
  • Number of times they end up as gladiators, so far: 2. Number of times the crew meets a godlike alien: 2,503.
  • Some episodes hold up better than others. Anything based on special effects, for example, is just bleah.
  • Some episodes work far better in the  novelizations than they do as television. The gunfight at the OK Corral episode for example: Bad TV show. Great story.
  • McCoy gets all the good lines. Really. He does. Watch the show. "Why I’m beginning to think I could cure a rainy day!"

Star Trek Review

I’ve gotten some very interesting responses to my informal review of the Star Trek movie, and I thought it would be worthwhile to note here that I haven’t found many people yet who agree with me.

So don’t let me dissuade you from going to the movie, folks. I’m in the minority on this one. And even I would like to remind you all that I said it was a good movie. It was. It was also worth seeing.

(I also didn’t like Moulin Rouge, though that was also worth seeing, so I have a track record with these things.)

Here’s another review you might consider reading–James Lileks, who writes for the Star  Tribune, absolutely loved the movie, and so far, most of my friends agree with him.

Here’s an AP story about how the movie was made, which was pretty interesting.

And here’s another AP story about the romance in the movie. There’s a lot of spoilers past the second paragraph in this one, so if you haven’t seen it.

Review: Star Trek

I’ve been grappling with how to review Star Trek since I saw it on Friday in the theater in Jackson.

It was a great action movie. Lots of things blew up, there were some gunfights and a sword fight, and a couple of ship chases, which is the closest sci-fi can usually get to a car chase. There were pretty girls and handsome boys and romance (which I’m not so sure worked). The plot made sense, if you were used to Star Trek convolutedness, particularly whenever time travel comes into the mix.

A great action movie and maybe a great sci-fi movie.

I’m not so sure it was a great Star Trek movie.

Let me explain.

The actors were wonderful. They played their characters almost perfectly, without slavishly imitating the original actors but preserving the essence of the characters. The standouts here were Karl Urban’s McCoy and Simon Pegg’s Scotty, though no one did a bad job or hit a false, jarring note in terms of acting.

The dialogue and the script were also excellent. McCoy’s lines sounded like things McCoy would say. Spock’s lines (mostly) sounded like what Spock would say. If you watched the old TV shows or the older movies, things sounded right.

But.

Yes. There is a but. The problem with the but is that I can’t talk about what I didn’t like without revealing major plot points, so this is your official spoiler warning. Do not read further if you haven’t seen the movie and want to be surprised.

But. (Highlight the following to see…) They changed a lot. The minor changes, I was okay with. Killing Kirk’s dad was an interesting twist. Killing Spock’s mom, I didn’t like so much, but it had to be done in order to show the audience of Trek fans that all bets were off, that this wasn’t your mama’s series and that characters you liked weren’t necessarily safe.

Destroying the entire fargin’ planet Vulcan?

Not cool. Not cool with me at all. Vulcans are my second-favorite Star Trek culture, so I suppose it shocked and annoyed me more than it did most people.

And there was a lot there to like. Nerve pinches, death grips, that bizarre once-every-seven-years mating thing, Surak, pacifism and the cult of logic, the Vulcan uneasy relationship with unsettled, impulsive humanity that made both cultures richer, the IDIC (infinite diversity in infinite combinations) and sehlats… there was a lot there.

I had a Planet of the Apes moment.

You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

I came out of the theater soured and vaguely angry, not because the movie was a terrible mess that no one should ever watch again (Star Trek V: Let us never speak of it) but because it wasn’t. They came so very close to making me almost completely happy as a fan and as a movie-goer, and then they blew up Vulcan. For the rest of the movie I sat there thinking: I can’t believe they did that. I really wish they hadn’t done that.

I still do wish they hadn’t done that.

The only other thing that rang wrong was the Spock/Uhura snoggery. Now it’s not the idea of a relationship between them that seems deeply, deeply wrong. It’s the fact that there was absolutely no lead-up to it whatsoever, or a scene showing how it happened, or anything, and then, more importantly, the fact that they were kissing in public.

Are there any navies out there in which a commander would snog his lieutenant in front of his captain? Where it is no problem at all to have a relationship with a junior officer under your command? That was completely weird, and it made me uncomfortable.

So. It was a good movie. I’m not sure it was a good Star Trek movie.

But when I disliked it the most I kept wondering why the director hadn’t simply removed his pants and defecated all over the fans. Then later I decided it was probably more along the lines of hocking a loogie onto the fans, since calling it poo was definitely an overreaction.

Overall, I’m still not sure I liked it. RIP Vulcan, I guess. You were a good planet with lots of fruitful plots and characters on it. Too bad the director wasn’t a fan.

Star Trek

I don’t know what to think about Star Trek the movie, and before you ask, no, I haven’t seen it yet.

That’s exactly why I don’t know what to think.

I’m not a Trekkie. I have been a Trekkie, but as somebody in the newsroom put it today, now I am a recovering Trekkie.

I liked Star Trek when it was Star Trek: The Next Generation, though I’d always watch the fun, cheesy old classic Star Trek shows too, if they came on. The mythology and the depth behind the show was, to coin a Spockian phrase, fascinating. It wasn’t all there when the shows started, obviously; the writers just had a little skeleton, a television show "bible" that they used to make sure they didn’t contradict themselves too much, and they went from there.

I never cared much for Deep Space Nine, couldn’t bring myself to watch the lost-in-space plotted Voyager and the creep factor involved in the very first episode of Enterprise turned me off so hard I vowed never to watch another episode.

(The plot of that first episode absolutely necessitated that the captain and the first officer, played by someone best known for being in men’s magazines, disrobe and rub each other with gel. Yes. Really.)

So I’m not sure if I ever really qualified as a hard-core Trekkie in the first place.

I want to see the movie, though. Not to poke holes in it or to be annoyed by it or to nitpick every little thing, like where the Enterprise was built or how the Romulans look, but because it looks like a good action movie.

I have every hope that it’s not going to be horrible. I even hope it’ll be good.

Live long and prosper.

I Am Apparently It

I have been tagged by Far Side of Fifty, one of the many awesome blogs on AreaVoices. Now normally I don’t do these kinds of things, and even now I’m going to cheat and only do part of it.

Rules

1. Link to the person who tagged you. I just did!

2. Post these rules on your blog.  Check.

3. Tell about your six quirks. See below.

4. Tag Six bloggers to do the same. And here’s where I faillll to comply. Sorry; I’m just way too lazy. And have about a kerjillion other things to do.

MY SIX QUIRKS

1. Most of the time I eat each item on my plate separately. First I’ll eat all my green beans. Then I’ll eat all my mashed potatoes. Then I’ll eat all my turkey. Then I’ll eat all my stuffing. I don’t go back and forth between food items and I prefer the items not to touch on my plate either.

According to some Star Trek books, this means I’m a Romulan spy.

2. Speaking of which, I used to be a big Star Trek fan, in particular, The Next Generation. I still know many astonishingly useless bits of trivia from the show.

3. I went to Luther Seminary for two years to get a master’s degree in church history, which I did not end up getting.

4. I love coffee, but I put so much cream and sugar substitute in it I can’t always tell if it’s good coffee or the bad stuff. I switched to sugar substitutes after getting chewed on by my dentist.

5. I acquired the love of coffee in Russia, where I spent 7 weeks as an exchange student one summer. One of my host sisters liked coffee and the other liked tea, so we alternated between them.

6. I’ve been doing this online thing for about 10 years, and when I first started I quickly became a volunteer administrator for a site focusing on a series of books I liked. (I now think they’re some of the most poorly written trash in the genre, but that’s a different story.) Of course, I was about 18, so I was clueless and ham-fisted about enforcing rules, which I now regret.

7. I have this thing about not obeying useless rules. Like about having six quirks instead of seven. It’s the Lutheran in me, I think.