Barbarella Plus Music Plus Mustache Equals… Milk?

I’ve heard of some pretty strange marketing campaigns over the years: alternative reality games such as The Beast, which was meant to promote the movie A.I., Burger King’s infamous square butts commercial, which united the creepy plastic king with the creepy animated sponge thing, and the Aqua Teen Hunger Force ads that had half the population of Boston worried about bombs in 2007.

But the "Battle for Milkquarious" campaign from the California Milk Processor Board takes the cake. In fact, it takes the cake, the ice cream, the chocolate syrup, the whipped cream and the cherry, along with the spoon and hey, it probably mugs a couple of party guests as it goes out the door, because it’s just that out there.

Essentially, it’s a sci-fi Barbarella-style rock opera starring a heavily mustachioed, bare-chested rock star (left) who plays a milk-filled guitar, who must rescue his gorgeous girlfriend and his planet’s milk supply after they have both been stolen by… some guy in a purple cape, I’m honestly not sure who he was supposed to be.

The movie is about half an hour long, and it is ultra-campy, though it features lovely set designs and some pretty good milk-related imagery. The songs are demented and funny; the first one is about White Gold (the rock star) telling his girlfriend, Strawberry Summers (the girlfriend, at right), that she is almost as pretty as he is. There are also plenty of milk-related jokes, and yes, a unicow.

Because otherwise it wouldn’t have been strange enough.

Whoever thought of this advertisement is insane. They may also be a genius; I’m honestly not sure. Either way, the movie is pretty funny and at the end promotes a contest for students (in California only), who can win money for their school by submitting a video of… something. I think I was still trying to understand White Gold’s mustache at this point in the process, because I ignored the bit about the contest.

So, if you have a few spare minutes, watch the movie. It’s like watching Power Rangers, but with irony and a lot more mustache.

You too can be this cool.

But only if you drink milk.