Zorro Defends Lecture, Cinnamon Wounds, and Puppies

Here are some funny pranks and some very unfunny, dangerous practices, and also, just because, puppies.

  • First, a college lecture suddenly becomes exciting with the addition of a purse theft, Zorro, and a duel. (via College Media Matters)
  • Here’s ten more simple pranks you can do, if you don’t have a mariachi band handy. Some of them are kind of mean–the ketchup, I think, is a wee bit harsh–but others are amusing. (via BoingBoing)
  • Why swallowing ground-up water-repellent bark is a bad idea. Clue: Cinnamon is ground-up water-repellent bark, so this is about that “cinnamon challenge” we’ve all been hearing so much about lately. (via BoingBoing)
  • If you’re buying a puppy, please consider an ugly one. Apparently looks are often the major reason why people choose the puppies they choose, meaning there must be a ton of sad, ugly-cute puppies out there.
  • And finally, “reporter” has again landed on a couple of lists: one for “careers that pay less than you think” and one for “worst jobs.” I have to question the “worst jobs” bit, personally. I love my job. I find deadlines more helpful than stressful, my coworkers are great, and sure, I work weird hours, but they’re certainly not as difficult hours as my parents (a pastor and a nurse) work. Plus, I get to not only write, but I also get to proofread, which I enjoy quite a bit. Here’s another person’s take on it; I don’t agree with everything she says either (actually, I get thanked a lot, and my higher-ups are nice to me), but thought it was worth a look.

Heroes and Villains

One of the top 5 most-viewed stories on our site today has been the sad tale of the complete wackjob who glued a cat to the local interstate. The idea that the person who did this likely lives within 100 miles of me is a very unpleasant one, and remembering that it was probably around 5 degrees outside when someone decided to do this just makes it worse.

Obviously, the poor cat died.

Now, I’m not a cat person (despite having plans to become a Crazy Cat Lady someday), but it takes a special kind of person to do something so cruel to any animal. For one thing, animal cruelty is part of the Macdonald Triad, also known as the Triad of Sociopathy. That was the first thing I thought of when I first read the story of the cat, whose name, by the way, was Timothy.

Whoever did that definitely qualifies as a villain, and not in a cool "I bwahahahaa in the shower and try to take over the world" kind of way.

There is a reward for catching this person, offered by a generous Yankton resident.

I greatly prefer movie villains, who are (mostly) safely fictional. Hannibal Lecter is scary, but I don’t have to worry about having him for dinner (or rather, him having me for dinner). Here’s a list of the 50 best movie villains for your entertainment.

Even better than movie villains are real-life heroes, such as the Yankton guy who offered up his $1,000 to get justice for a mere animal — an animal who had already died. Or what about the men and women (yes, there were a few) who served in World War II? If you’ve missed our Honor Flight coverage, check it out.

If you like reading accounts of World War II from the veterans who were actually there, check out this blog entry.

Norman Borlaug might be the biggest hero you’ve never heard of. He was just an agronomist at the University of Minnesota, but his work earned him a Nobel Peace Prize, a Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Congressional Gold Medal. Why? Well, he’s credited with saving more than a billion people from starvation.

But if you ask somebody on the street who Norman Borlaug was (he died last year), you’ll get nothing but blank looks.

I’m not even sure Superman saved a billion people, and he’s fictional.

Sometimes you can become a hero accidentally.

Tsutomu Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima on a business trip for his shipbuilding company on Aug. 6, 1945, when a U.S. B-29 dropped an atomic bomb on the city. He suffered serious burns to his upper body and spent the night in the city.(Washington Post)

Then he went home.

Unfortunately, in his case, "home" was Nagasaki, which was hit by the atomic bomb three days later.

He wrote books and songs about the experience and determinedly educated people about being an atom bomb survivor, and hoped atom bombs would be abolished.

So I’m going to try this week to be a hero, not a villain. Maybe I won’t save any cats or even reward those who bring them justice, and I’m sure I won’t save a billion lives or survive two atomic blasts. But at least I’ll be on the right side.

10 Time Wasters: Bad Movies, Weird Photos, Weird Beach Boys Tunes and Even a LOLCat

1. From Reuters comes this top 10 list that may be better termed a bottom 10 list: It’s a list of the 10 biggest movie flops of the past decade. And the biggest flop isn’t Battlefield Earth, surprisingly. I’m happy to report I haven’t seen any of these movies, and I don’t intend to, either.

2. A satirical article about African leaders meeting to discuss the reform of U2, which was pretty giggleworthy.

3. A man made a magnetic Starbucks coffeecup and stuck it to the top of his car, then tweeted about people’s reactions. It’s like a mini-sociology experiment.

4. Sometimes the sidewalks don’t go where you’d like them to. And sometimes people make their own darn streets where they think the streets should be. Here are the results: Urban pathways.

5. The Huffington Post did a neat slideshow of the world’s most expensive foods, starting with white truffles, which look kind of disgusting, honestly. They also detailed why the foods are so pricy.

6. This story from Hi-Fructose Magazine is kind of like Where’s Waldo: The Ghost Man paints himself and then sits in front of objects, camouflaging himself perfectly. Can you spot him?

7. Here’s a blog called "Smile Like You’re Dead Inside," which is devoted entirely to pictures of people smiling like they’re dead inside. Some people interpret that to mean zombies, and others interpret it to mean that horrible glazed smile some retail folks get near the end of the holiday shopping season when they are exhausted and on the point of tears and/or violently smashing merchandise against the wall.

8. This is an early example of a LOLCat. Very, very early.

9. And here we have for your perusal a gallery of hyper-magnified snowflakes, each more beautiful in its crystalline structure than the last, no matter how you count them.

10. And here are some very peculiar Beach Boys songs, including a cover of "The Times They Are a’Changin’." And "A Day in the Life of a Tree," which is about… a day in the life of a tree. Really.

The Origin of the Surprised Kitty

Earlier I linked to the Surprised Kitten, an internet sensation that, like the Dramatic Chipmunk and the Dancing Hamsters, have become a bizarre "everyone’s seen it" kind of thing.

Much to my surprise, the Surprised Kitten has an origin story!

Check it out. Note that the page has been auto-translated from French and as usual when you do that, there are some words that the machine went PTHTHVBPPBTTT on.

The kitten’s name is Attila the Bear, and as usual with anyone who becomes truly famous, Attila is a naughty kitty.

If you want a kitty of your own (naughty or nice) look here.

Many pets are in need of owners at this holiday season.

My example kitten today is Marie (shown at right), a cute little calico kitty available in Milford, Iowa. Marie is described on petfinder as having a gentle temperament. She’s up-to-date with the usual shots and has been house-trained. If you’d like to adopt Marie make sure to call the Humane Society of Northwest Iowa. Their phone number and more information about Marie can be found here.

Crime and Not Exactly Crime in Worthington

It’s a busy day here at the Globe, but I thought I’d take the time to regale you with some of the strange or funny incident reports, mainly from this weekend.

  • There were two different reports of a male riding a go-cart, first on the street and then at the Budget Inn, on Sunday. The reports are only about 33 minutes apart, but seem to concern two different go-cart drivers. Both were warned.
  • Back up a little bit to Aug. 31, when the Nobles County Sheriff’s Office was summoned to pick up a statue alongside the road. A statue of what? The report doesn’t say.
  • On Sept. 10, someone was driving westbound in the eastbound lane of Interstate 90. I don’t know what would be scarier, to suddenly notice that you’re driving the wrong way on a one-way street or to suddenly notice that someone else is.
  •  On Saturday, a report’s first line read: "Unsupervised kids are being loud." The second line stated: "Parents were home and kids were not loud. Advised (parent) of the complaint."

And this may be the most important ICR that didn’t make it into the paper:

  • Near the intersection of Nobles County 25 and 220th Street Saturday, people found a very friendly stray Boston terrier with a brown leather collar. If you’re missing a very friendly stray Boston terrier, please call the Nobles County Sheriff’s Office and they’ll help you find your dog.

Crazy Cat Lady in Training

"The curse is come upon me!" cried the Lady of Shalott.

-Alfred, Lord Tennyson

I received this in the mail last week from my friend Deb, in response to the post in which I was worrying about becoming a Crazy Cat Lady.

With it came a note: "Saw this and had to get it to you. Hope you can find the humor–since you fear becoming one of these."

The cat lady comes with six full-sized cats, as well as a cat around one neck and a cat in her pocket, and it also features a quiz on the back of the box intended to diagnose incipient crazy-cat-ladyhood.

Questions include:

  • Do you have more cats than ex-boyfriends?
  • Can you tell your cats apart by the roughness of their tongues?
  • Have you ever had to explain to a police officer that the stuff in the bag really is catnip?

If I ever get that far gone, I hope someone will stop me.

The box also includes a quote from Garrison Keillor: "Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."

At least the cats in the box are plastic, although they may or may not be simultaneously dead and alive, like some other famous cats.