Yes, I Am an Evil Supervillain, Thank You

I’m Lex Luthor and Emperor Palpatine and Magneto and The Penguin.

Best-case scenario, maybe I get to be antihero Beatrix Kiddo on her roaring rampage of revenge in Kill Bill. But that’s on a good day.

Why am I turning into a supervillain? Well, if you believe the Myers-Briggs personality tests, I have an ENTJ personality. You can read all about Myers-Briggs here, and about that specific personality type here, but what that really means, according to lots of people on the Internet, is that I am a bad person who wants to take over the world and then kick puppies or blow up a planet.

That’s not what the research says, of course, or at least not in those words.

ENTJs are a rare personality type in general and even rarer for women. About 2-5% of men are ENTJs and only 1-3% of women. ENTJs are motivated, assertive, competitive, strategic. They’re influential and organized, but their standards are high and they don’t always take people’s personal needs into account. (Here’s where that came from, but you can find similar information all over the place.)

Here’s the problem: people apparently do not like the ENTJ personality. At all. Not even a little.

If you check out some of the fictional people generally believed to be ENTJs, they are some of the worst human beings ever put on page or screen.

Does this mean I’m going to take up puppy-kicking and nun-punching as a hobby, and build a death ray in the basement? No.

I think it might actually mean that ENTJs are misunderstood.

  • Yes, we can seem alarmingly insensitive, but that doesn’t mean we don’t care; it means that a lot of the time, we don’t actually notice. And if we do, it won’t be weighted as heavily as objective data. (Sorry.)
  • Yes, we can seem irritatingly assertive, but groups we’re in will be blessedly free of restaurant choosing discussions that go “Where do you want to go?” “I don’t know.” “Eh, don’t care.” “What do you think?” “Not sure.” (repeat 10 times)
  • Yes, we can seem quite bossy, but we see systems everywhere. We want them to be the best systems possible, and we want each person to do the best they possibly can. That’s not just because we like the system, either–it’s because we feel awesome when we’re doing our best and we assume everyone else does too.
  • Yes, we often like to have plans. That doesn’t mean we’re devoid of spontaneity, though, just that we like to have a backup in case spontaneity spontaneously doesn’t happen. If spontaneity occurs we will happily scrap the plan.

In short, if you know someone who’s an ENTJ, give them a hug, or better yet, give them a rational, objective assessment of something awesome they’ve done. They’d probably prefer that over mushy feelings stuff.

But maybe you should keep the nuns and puppies and death rays away.

You know, just in case.

Cute Shirtless Guy

Every swingin’ bachelorette pad needs a picture of a cute guy with no shirt.

Luckily, I got one for Christmas.

William

William

I got one for my desk at work, too!

That’s my nephew, William, who’s about 5 months old now. He’s pretty cute, and apparently he likes not having a shirt on, which puts him in agreement with most of the babies and small children I’ve met over the years.

Escalators and UND Hockey at the Ralph

Escalator

Escalator

I finally got to go to a UND hockey game Friday, and I took this (grainy, awful) picture of one of the Ralph Engelstad Arena escalators with my cellphone. It was a pretty shiny escalator!

Watching the hockey game was great fun too, and I almost lost my voice by the end of it.

Hockey

The View from Our Seats

Our tickets were in one of the “worst” places in the arena, but the view was awesome–we could see everything that happened and every slap-shot and every check was clearly audible.

I haven’t been to a hockey game in a long time (think “North Stars”), but it was still great fun. We were treated to a bout of facemasking and assorted hockey-related violence at some point, too.

I was disappointed that UND lost, but they didn’t seem able to control the puck very well that night, and with a wobbly passing game and a weird hesitation about advancing the puck onto the opponent’s side, UND was not able to make enough headway to overcome Miami. Miami, on the other hand, had scored twice in the first five minutes of the game, which you don’t see that often in hockey unless you’re playing NHL ’95 or something.

Final tally was 3-2 Miami. Still an enjoyable game, though!

Why Do Victims of Domestic Abuse Stay?

No one else will ever want me and I’ll die alone.

It was my fault he hit me.

He promised not to do it again.

I’m the only one who cares about him, I can’t leave him now.

I love him.

He’s really sweet most of the time, he only hits me when he’s angry.

He’ll hurt himself if I leave, and it’ll be my fault.

I deserved it for being a bad spouse.

This just means he’s passionate about me.

Maybe he’ll change.

I can’t leave because he has complete control over our finances. The checkbook, savings account, house and cars are all solely in his name.

Everyone will say they told me so.

I’m a stay-at-home parent. But with no income I wouldn’t get custody of our child.

If the above text made your skin crawl, it’s a pretty good sign that you’re not a sociopath.

The Ray Rice incident has a lot of people wondering why domestic violence victims stay with their abusers.

I have been privileged in my life in that I have never experienced domestic violence, but I have spoken with those who have, and I have listened to what they told themselves when they were suffering abuse. These are reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, but really, I suspect they’re just excuses.

The real reason people stay in abusive relationships is that the abuser brainwashes them and victimizes them so constantly that they have no self-worth anymore, and the abuser strategically removes every resource the victim has to prevent them from escaping. It’s all about removing independence from the victim.

It’s a common tactic to cut victims off from family and friends. It’s a common tactic to remove access to money and finances to create dependency. It’s a common tactic to make the victim believe the abuser is the one dependent on the victim. Abusers may get victims to quit their jobs, stop visiting family, drop their friends and stop going out.

These are deliberate choices by the abuser, deliberate manipulations that get the abuser what he or she wants. It’s not some sort of accident that victims think this way. It’s not an accident that victims often stay. That’s what the abusers want; that’s their goal.

In other words, the real reason people stay with their abusers is that they are being abused. It’s not what the victims say to themselves, it’s what the abuser is doing.

Don’t put the onus on the victim, here. Why do they stay? Because they’re being abused, that’s why, and it’s messing with their heads.

And another thing?

Never think this couldn’t happen to you, because that’s probably the one thing that all victims of domestic violence do have in common.

It happens to men and women alike and some victims are very smart, very strong people whose strength has been deliberately, strategically eroded over years by abusers.

The Frost Giants: A New UND Nickname?

The Sioux nickname issue is over for the University of North Dakota, but it has left UND without a nickname and a mascot.

Last week, UND grad Lisa Monte wrote a letter to the Grand Forks Herald suggesting a new nom de game: The Frost Giants. That’s pretty clever, actually–it’s right out of Norse myth.

Ymir, Frost Giant

Ymir, Frost Giant

The downside might be that people don’t immediately recognize what a Frost Giant is. Someone asked about them on the Herald’s Facebook page, so I got out my “D’Aulaires’ Book of Norse Myths,” an introductory guide to the subject meant for children, and tried to answer the question.

I’ve always loved the book for its beautiful illustrations, made with loving detail in colored pencil by husband-and-wife team Ingri and Edgar D’Aulaire, so I thought I’d post some of the pictures here to introduce others to the D’Aulaires’ beautiful work. I really can’t recommend this book enough.

 

Ymir and Trolls

Ymir and Trolls

That’s a six-headed troll sprouting from Ymir’s feet, and another male and female jotun (frost giant) sprouting from his armpits.

Ymir Gets Beaten Up

Ymir Gets Beaten Up

Ymir is a bit like the Titans of Greek mythology, really. Here, Odin and his god-buddies are slaying Ymir, and after the frost giant is dead, they build the world from his body. No, seriously, he was that big, apparently. I love how the illustration shows the remnants of Ymir:

Standing on a Nose

Standing on a Nose

As to whether the UND teams should call themselves the Frost Giants, I’m not sure. They’re usually– but definitely not always– pictured as ugly, and they’re usually–but definitely not always– the antagonists of what we’d think of as the “normal” Norse pantheon.

However, they are also scary, intimidating and large, all traits one normally wants in a sports team.

What do you think?

Remembering Jerry Kainz

Sometimes it’s hard to say goodbye.

For me, that applies to a lot of things, including shoes. I’ll buy a pair of shoes and, if I like them, I’ll wear them in, wear them out, and then keep on wearing them until they literally start to fall apart. In a few cases I’ve even attempted to glue them back together again just so I can wear them a little more.

I was wearing a pair of shoes a little longer than I should have when I stepped into the Jamestown Fire Department building one evening, and one of the soles had finally given up the ghost, flapping against the bottom of the rest of the shoe and the fire hall floor. I ignored them and looked for a firefighter, so I could get some basic information about a fire that had happened earlier.

It was Deputy Chief Jerry Kainz who helped me out, but not without pointing out the problem I was having with my shoe and teasing me a bit about it. We both thought it was pretty funny, actually–my shoe was flapping every step I took and I had to be careful not to trip on it.

After that, every time I stopped by at the JFD in the evening, I looked for Jerry. Everybody in that fire department is really helpful, but I remembered Jerry because of my shoe. He remembered my shoe too, because just about every time I’d go in there we’d have a bit of banter about whatever shoes I happened to be wearing that day.

And Jerry always knew the answers to all my reporter questions, too, and gave neat, organized answers. How many people were at the fire? How many trucks? What did you use to put it out? Any injuries? Is it totally destroyed? What caused the fire?

I was saddened to hear today that Jerry had passed away yesterday. I can’t say that I knew him very well, but I absolutely can say that he made me smile, more than once. He made my job easier, more than once.

While I never look forward to fires, I never minded going over to the fire hall, and part of that was because I knew Jerry was likely to be there, with both information and a quip about my (occasionally dubious) footwear.

I have since said goodbye to the shoe that prompted the initial exchange. I don’t even miss it.

I already miss Jerry Kainz, though–his quick smile, his knowledge and the ready way he shared them both. He made a difference to a great many people through his work with the JFD–saving homes, preventing property damage, saving lives.

But he also made a difference to me, even with just a smile and a helpful word.

Thanks, Jerry. Thank you.

Help Needed: Songs About Disasters

What’s your favorite disaster song?

I have been chided about not blogging often enough, and I said that once I was done with our upcoming totally-awesome Progress edition (really, it was fun to do this year!) I would start blogging again.

I’m not quite finished, so maybe I can get some help from my audience, if I still have one.

There are a lot of songs about disasters, whether it’s the figurative or the literal kind, and I realized the other day that there are at least a few about specific disasters. There are songs about shipwrecks, songs about storms, songs about wars, songs about hurricanes. There are even songs about the banana disaster. (It was a lot of bananas, to be fair.)

There are at least three songs about volcanoes:

1. Pompeii, by Bastille, which is about, yes, Pompeii, the town destroyed by Mount Vesuvius, so suddenly that a lot of people were buried in ash before they had time to run.

2. Volcano, by Damien Rice. This one seems to be a more metaphorical take on volcanoes, but does include some volcanic lyrics: “You give me miles and miles of mountains and I ask for the sea.”

3. 1816, the Year Without a Summer, by Rasputina. I’ve written about this before, and you probably remember it. Mount Tambora erupted and filled the skies with ash, causing brutally cold temperatures in Europe. It was the Little Ice Age.

What are your favorite songs about disasters? Have I missed any volcano songs?

Saturday’s Terrifying Incident

The scariest thing ever happened to me on Saturday: I gave my parents a perfectly valid reason to say “I told you so.”

I also slid off the Interstate at 75 miles per hour, but hey, perspective, people.

I’m fine, and while my car’s bumper is hanging down on one side, my car is also mostly fine.

Actually, the outcome of the accident was about as good as it was possible to be. I didn’t hit anyone or anything but snow. My car didn’t flip over. I didn’t even have time to be scared or worried, and afterward, I sat in the driver’s seat of my car on the median of I-29 about 20 miles south of Fargo, and thought: Well, huh. That happened.

A deputy arrived about 10 minutes after I called. A tow truck arrived about 25 minutes later and tugged me gently out of the median. Its kind-hearted driver told me my bumper was down on one side, and advised me to ask someone at a local truck stop to help me use a bungee cord to secure it temporarily, so that I could get back Jamestown okay.

I drove slowly to the truck stop and stood in line with some bungee cords; then I asked the cashier if she knew anyone who could lend a hand. The man in line behind me said he’d look at it and that I should wait before buying the cords so I could be sure I was getting the right ones.

He looked; I swapped the cords for a different set, and then he rigged the bumper up.

I went to my board game gathering in Fargo–two hours late–and asked my friends if one of them could put me up, because while I was in relatively good spirits, my taste for driving was definitely gone for the night. Two people offered me guest rooms, so I chose the one with the cat. (It is a particularly beautiful cat.)

On Sunday, my kind host fed me bacon and hot tea and sent me on my way.

The drive from West Fargo to Jamestown was awful. Along the way I saw multiple accidents. One woman sheltered a small golden-colored dog as she walked along the interstate to a waiting car, away from some sort of a wreck. At least one semi truck lay in the ditch, its weight clearly unable to protect it entirely.

Another accident occurred right in front of me, as an SUV from the opposite lane from me slid into the median. Only that unfortunate driver wasn’t lucky like me and his or her vehicle ended up on its side. As I passed, I saw one frail-looking arm push the heavy door up.

I called 911 and reported it, worrying that reporting the accident would cause me to get into another accident, but it didn’t.

It took about twice as long as usual to get from Fargo to Jamestown, but I stopped several times just to give myself a break.

It wasn’t until I was safely home that I realized the true horror of my own position. Before I left Jackson, Minnesota, to return to Jamestown, my parents had told me that the weather was bad and the roads terrible. I told them I’d simply drive more carefully.

Well, it turned out they were right, and now they have earned the absolute and total right to say “I told you so” for at least the next decade or so.

And I’m doomed.

Fashion Show

I went to the Buffalo Mall and caught about half of the fashion show there on Saturday. It was very refreshing to see ordinary people of various sizes, shapes, genders and ages modeling the clothes! Not everyone has the same body type, after all.

Baby Model

This model was too young to strut his stuff on the catwalk, but his mom carried him, so he got to show off his John Deere duds anyway. Super cute! Kudos to both of these lovely folks for serving as models.

Styles came from a lot of different stores in the Buffalo Mall.

Hat Tip

A young model tips his hat at the end of the runway during a fashion show at the Buffalo Mall Saturday.

I never found out why there were so many elves at the shindig, but they looked great and they certainly made the place festive.

Elves! Surely Santa can't be far behind?

Elves! Surely Santa can’t be far behind?

Plenty of kids showed up at the mall Saturday, too.

Treat Bags

Kids at the event got treat bags.

Dogs Who Survived Puppy Mill Need Families

Many of the dogs rescued from puppy mills have lasting issues. Some of them are health-related, like urinary tract infections, dental problems that have required removal of teeth or worse.

Other issues are behavioral. Some of the dogs haven’t had any socialization at all, so they’re timid around strangers, won’t get too close to people and have habits that are atypical for dogs raised in better conditions. They might gobble their food down so fast they choke, or they might hide food for later, knowing that in the past, food hasn’t been supplied regularly. When faced with stress, they might go to a quiet place and hide, ignoring everything. They haven’t been housebroken, so they’re more likely to have accidents inside the house than other dogs.

These dogs often still do make great pets, though. They just might require more time and more patience from their owners. The older ones, some of whom have been used as breeders under terrible conditions for years, likely won’t turn around in a week or two. It takes a long time to get over something like that for an animal, just like it would for a person.

It may sound odd, but I thought of the women Ariel Castro kidnapped and imprisoned for years in Cleveland. It’s terrible that people can do these things to other people. It’s terrible that people can do these things to dogs, too.

There’s still hope, though, and as time goes on, the dogs do get better.

I wrote a story this week about some of the dogs saved from a puppy mill near Wheatland, N.D. in July. While more than 174 dogs were taken from the mill, our local group Prairie Paws Rescue took in nine of them. Three of those nine have been adopted, and six of them remain in foster homes waiting for more permanent homes.

Prairie Paws deliberately took in some of the hardest cases, because it has experience dealing with puppy mill dogs and their unique set of issues, so it’s not surprising that some of the dogs still haven’t found good homes yet.

The dogs, all of whom were named after cars, have been making progress.

Porsche

This is Porsche, one of the dogs that has been adopted. She’s getting along quite well, according to her new owner, Terry McCleary, of Ashley, N.D.

Mercy

Mercedes, called Mercy by her fosterer, Stacey Ellingson, hasn’t yet been adopted, but her condition has improved greatly from the above image. While she was at the puppy mill, the fur around her eye became matted, to the extent that her eye was beginning to close up.

It looks like they had to trim her hair pretty short, so I’m guessing the matting was pretty bad. Since then, though, with the help of eyedrops and Ellingson’s dedication, Mercy’s eye has improved. And her fur has grown back, too–she looks pretty fluffy now.

Mercedes

She’s probably going to need eyedrops for a while, yet, and may always need them.

“Her hair has grown out, the eye is looking better and her skin and coat are much healthier. She is now a happy girl,” Ellingson wrote in an email to me.

Mercy

She is a pretty cute dog. According to Ellingson, she does like people, and she’s fine with other dogs, as long as they don’t get in her face.

Mercy served as a breeder dog, so she was older when she was rescued–probably around 7 or 8. That makes her a harder case for adoption, even though, as Ellingson pointed out, she has many good years left in her.

She needs to be on special food. And she has a tendency to gobble her food, and treats too, sometimes inadvertently nipping a finger or two in her haste. Sometimes she pees in the house, as puppy mills don’t teach their dogs to go to the door if they need to go out.

And when she’s stressed, she goes somewhere quiet and sort of shuts down, becoming so unresponsive that rescuers initially thought she was deaf. She’s not deaf, though–it’s just her response to difficult conditions, a coping mechanism she developed at the puppy mill.

For more information about the Wheatland dogs that Prairie Paws still has — Porsche, Mercedes, Buick and the others — click here. Prairie Paws has a website, too, and you can view all the animals currently available for adoption there, dogs and cats, kitties and puppies too.