Spider Lies on Facebook

I am terribly afraid of spiders, so I was a bit squeamish about debunking a few of the false spider-related posts on Facebook.

I Used to be an Adventurer Like You
Until I Took a Spider to the Butt

One of the popular Facebook posts involves a two-striped spider that likes to hide in airplane bathrooms and bite people on the butt. That story is entirely fictional, fortunately for the entire human race and especially those of us who do not like creepity-crawly things.

Now if you’re in an outdoor toilet, checking below the seat for critters (including arachnids) might be a wise idea. Doing it before you’ve taken your pants down, so that you can run away screaming if you need to, is an even wiser idea.

The Reclusive Brown Recluse

Another Facebook post I’ve seen involves the Brown Recluse spider, one of the few North American spiders with a dangerous bite. The problem with the post is that some parts of it are true, and some aren’t. (Warning: Very Icky Pictures! Not for the squeamish! Seriously, you’ll regret it!)

The pictures shown are from 2003, and the person in them isn’t even sure he was really bitten by a Brown Recluse. He did have MRSA, (Warning: Another icky picture. Ew!) which is serious and a half.

Brown Recluse bites can be dangerous, but apparently, the biggest danger is getting an infection after being bitten, not the venom from the bite itself. It’s kind of an important distinction, because you’re not going to fall down and die ten seconds after the spider bites you, but if you scratch the bite, don’t keep the wound clean and don’t get treated if it does get infected, you could be in some serious trouble.

That said, most Brown Recluse bites heal on their own in 2-3 months, and a doctor who specializes in Brown Recluse spiders said there has never been a verified death from a Brown Recluse bite. (Deaths have been discussed in journals but none were “convincing,” according to the specialist.)

Now I’m a Nervous Nellie and I have health insurance, so I’d probably go get checked out if I thought I’d been bitten by a Brown Recluse, or if I had any kind of bite that wasn’t healing. Caution is a very good idea, and the bites can certainly be serious if they get infected.

However, panicking over your imminent death (which is highly, highly unlikely) isn’t constructive, and that’s why this Facebook post isn’t the best.

Headaches and Other Brain Drains

My brain decided to spontaneously explode on Sunday night.

As it’s a brain, and not a keg of dynamite with a fuse and a match, it didn’t do a very good job of it, and as the blizzard sailed in like the Flying Dutchman, my headache got worse and worse.

Though it’s far from lethal, there’s nothing quite like an ordinary, garden-variety sinus headache. I don’t know how you folks who get migraines deal with it, I really don’t. The infinitely-less-powerful sinus headaches I occasionally get are quite enough.

This time, prompted by atmospheric pressure changes that brought snow to apparently every single person on social media ever, my headache was impervious to my old reliable weapons, Aleve and Claritin. Advil did nothing. And the nausea was bad enough that I didn’t dare lie down and risk putting pressure on any internal organs.

But, as most headaches do, it eventually vanished, leaving me bored, because I couldn’t concentrate on anything more complicated than “OGG SMASH WITH ROCK,” and tired, because I hadn’t been able to sleep what with the throbbin’ noggin (which may be a good name for a band) and all.

Still, it was just a headache, and not even a migraine at that. No big deal.

Advice Columnist Practice Letter

I’ve often thought it would be fun to become an advice columnist, though I have to admit that it would also be a responsibility. What if someone took my advice and something terrible happened?

Then again, maybe my readers can give great advice, too!

So I thought I’d do a practice test. I’ve written a letter based on comments I’ve seen on some health websites, in which people advocating for quack remedies try to convince scientists and doctors that they are all wrong. Some of these folks believe having an enema will solve most health problems.

Dear Helpful Adviser,

I need help convincing people online that they should agree with me. I have tried absolutely everything I can think of to get them to listen to my position, including calling them morons, explaining why they are stupid in great detail. I have employed animal imagery, comparing them to snakes, weasels and pigs at a trough.

I have used tenuous connections to show they are part of a vast global conspiracy of very evil people who want to suppress The Truth. I’ve even told them that clearly they hate their children, other people’s children, old people and puppies, and noted that they are drinking the koolaid, even though the culprit at Jonestown was actually cyanide (and other stuff) in Flavor Aid, not koolaid. I have told them they are sinners and murderers.

I have even compared them to Hitler and the Nazis, multiple times, yet they still don’t agree with me. I can’t understand it! Why can’t I convince people I’m right?

Sincerely,
Confused

And here would be my practice answer to these folks, who again, believe enemas and happy thoughts can cure everything. What do you think, should I try an advice column?

Dear Confused,

I can’t imagine why not.

Sincerely,
Adviser

Poison, Snakefighting, Racial Slurs, and Deathtraps

Life is really kind of weird, when you think about it.

Today I got yet another shot–this time, a flu vaccine.

I don’t get these for myself, so much, as for other people I might come into contact with. My own immune system is pretty effective against these types of things, but apparently 90 percent of people who die of flu and flu-related causes are age 65 or older. And I do meet a lot of older folks, and would prefer not to make them sick. Plus there are infants and other people out there who can’t get the vaccine, and I don’t want to make them sick either.

It’s just a little strange to think that putting a little bit of a dead virus into your system can rile up your immune system enough to stop a live one. But it works, and it saves lives and misery.

Here are some other things that make very little sense, at least at first glance. … some of them make very little sense at last glance either, or at all the glances in between.

  • Why do people think natural is good? Cyanide is natural. Arsenic is natural. As far as I can tell, nature pretty much wants to kill us.
  • No, kindergarten doesn’t lead to a life of crime and debauchery. It may very well lead to a life of longing for naps and playtime, though.
  • If every major university made you defeat a snake in order to get your doctoral degree, you’d get… well, you’d get a site with helpful advice for scholarly snakefighting. Now I wonder how my dad subdued his assigned snake in order to become an official Ph.D.
  • The term “Monday” is apparently a racial slur. I honestly hadn’t ever heard that one before, and it’s kind of sad; Mondays (the day of the week, please) are already universally hated, and now here’s another little bit of odium to heap upon them which they haven’t even really earned.
  • When Switzerland isn’t being persistently neutral, producing cool folding knives and protecting the pope, it is apparently a deathtrap.
  • Finally, the Library of Congress has a notation for Klingon. But does it have Shakespeare in the original Klingon?

Ah, Science: Redheads, Booze, Booms and Shots

My list of interesting links has once again swollen to monstrous proportions, so much so that my whole computer is threatening to just lie down and cry.

Instead of playing a game of Klingon Monopoly to determine what happens next, I’ll just do the responsible thing and share the links with you folks.

School Lunches: The Picky Eater’s Dilemma

A Eastside Elementary student holds a fresh cucumber slice dipped in ranch dressing, part of one of the nutritious lunches prepared for the students at the Clinton, Miss., school Sept. 12, 2012.  (AP Photo/Rogelio V. Solis)

In one school, whenever salad was offered, I never took it, and if one of the lunch ladies deposited it on my plate I’d just leave it there, and toss it in the trash at the end of the lunch period.

In the other school, whenever salad was offered, I’d load my plate with it and eat every single speck, often wishing I could go back for more.

What made the difference between avoiding salad like the plague and devouring it like the delicious, crunchy meal it is?

I admit I’m a ridiculously picky eater. While I am not afraid to try new things, even things as wild as sauerkraut pizza (which, horrifyingly, is actually delicious), I very often don’t like them, and the list of ingredients I generally (but never always) avoid stretches all the way from mayonnaise and sour cream to mushrooms and peanut butter.

I keep trying things I know I don’t like, just in case. Every once in a while I eat a mushroom because hey, you never know. When I was a kid I didn’t like ketchup. Tastes change.

And now that I’m an adult, there’s a certain fairly large class of foods that I don’t care for much but eat anyway, such as green beans. Green beans are good for me, so whenever given the opportunity, say at a buffet, I eat some.

Salad is the only veggie I really like, and by salad I mean actual salad, not cold noodles covered with sauce. (Cold noodles: Another thing I’m not a fan of.) You know, with lettuce leaves and lots of other stuff.

What made the difference in those two school lunch salads?

Simple. One school served only one type of salad dressing: French.

The other school offered a choice of French and ranch dressing.

I’ve always been particular about salad dressings, and for a long time the only one I liked was Italian. My tastes have expanded a great deal throughout the years, to Caesar and ranch and Greek and raspberry vinaigrette and poppyseed and all kinds of other ones, but to this day I can’t abide French dressing.

At one school I never, ever took salad. At the other, I took salad at every opportunity and if salad had been served every day instead of, say, green beans or cooked carrots, I’d have eaten vegetables every single day at school. Romaine and spinach, all filled with nutrients. Crunchy, tasty goodness.

Yes, I probably would’ve topped them with cheese, egg, turkey, croutons and sunflower seeds if given the opportunity, but I’d've taken the lettuce and ranch dressing on its own, too, with thanks, if that’s all there was.

Why all this about my odd eating habits, you might ask? Well, I was reading a story about school lunches, and how kids are often rejecting the veggies and fruits provided in the healthier school lunches. And I have to wonder: are they offering children any choices?

I remember that there were days I ate nothing but a hamburger bun and pickles at school, because they’d serve sloppy joes with green beans and canned peaches. Back then I couldn’t bring myself to eat green beans either, and I hated canned peaches. Had they offered a nice little salad and a plum I’d've eaten my vegetables that day, at least.

I really like the idea of offering kids more healthy food for their school lunches, but I really do hope there are still some options. A plum or a pear. An apple or an orange. Green beans or asparagus. Ranch or French.

It’s great to make kids try new things (often they won’t do it on their own) but over the long term, offering them choices allows them to have some agency and still gets them to the healthier-food goal.

Some people will not ever like French dressing or mushrooms no matter how many times they’re served or how many times they’re tried.

Giving children a choice between two low-fat salad dressings might mean the difference between a rejected little pile of leaves and a clean plate.

Ah, Nature. Ah-choo!

If you’re seeing a lot of people wandering around with puffy eyes and runny noses, it’s because the pollen count is ridiculously high again, apparently across the entirety of North Dakota and a few other really unfortunate states.

I’ve had some success with loratadine and cetirizine, in that at least my eyes aren’t itchy anymore, but… well, I’m kinda looking forward to winter, now, because the pollen count doesn’t look like it’s going to let up any time in the immediate future.

 

A Bit More on Pertussis

My story on pertussis this week didn’t focus too much on the cause of the recent uptick in whooping cough cases we’re seeing nationwide. Is it unvaccinated children? is it unvaccinated adults? something else?

Anne Polta did a wonderful examination of the question on her HealthBeat blog, and I recommend taking a look at it.

I do have to wonder if Minnesota’s recent uptick has anything to do with Andrew Wakefield’s visit. For the record, Wakefield’s “study” claiming autism is caused by vaccines was fraudulent and he deliberately falsified data for it. He is no longer permitted to practice medicine in the U.K. and his fraudulent “work” has been discredited in countless scientific fora.

North Dakota’s already seen more cases this year than it saw all year last year, but the really alarming numbers are coming out of Minnesota, where there have been 1,881 cases this year thus far.

I gathered the numbers for Minnesota’s pertussis cases for the last decade-and-change, all of which are available on the state’s Dept. of Health website. Here they are.

2012 1881 to date
2011 661
2010 1143
2009 1134
2008 1034
2007 393
2006 320
2005 1571
2004 1368
2003 207
2002 429
2001 308
2000 575

As you can see, and as I noted in my article, numbers for pertussis fluctuate quite a bit and there are plenty of ups and downs.

Yet this year isn’t just another “up.” The number of cases Minnesota has had in seven months has significantly outstripped the numbers from every other year since 2000. That’s the most recent year I had easy access to numbers for, too, so it might even go back further. I have no idea. However, this is definitely a matter for concern.

Part of the problem is that people are not vaccinating their children. Part of the problem is that adults are not getting vaccinated themselves.

I will (mostly) spare you the lecture on herd immunity and explanations of why it is critical that ordinary healthy adults stay updated on their vaccines, but I would like to note that whooping cough can be especially devastating to babies. Most people want to keep babies safe.

Health officials recommend that adults get a Tdap vaccination. People are supposed to get a Td booster every 10 years anyway, and Tdap takes the place of that, so you won’t even need any extra shots.

It’s virtually painless (the needle is ultra-tiny), most insurance companies pay for it and it’ll probably take less than half an hour. You don’t even need an appointment for it at some clinics.

And frankly, you don’t want to get whooping cough anyway. It sounds a lot like having the worst cold imaginable, and you can have it for more than six weeks. Having a minor cold for six days is bad enough for me, thanks.

There are Donut Cops?

There are donut cops. This is a thing which actually exists. Had I realized this earlier on in my life, I may have chosen a different career track, although I’m not sure my blood pressure would’ve thanked me for it.

I have a wide assortment of other links that may or may not be of interest:

  • Logan Adams, of “It’s Good to Be in N.D.” has posted after a long hiatus. Hurray!
  • Dull and Boring are together at last, as sister communities. I’ve always thought it would be awkward to live in a town with a weird name, although being able to say “I’ll see you in Hell!” in a chipper, friendly voice would be kind of funny.
  • “The Hunger Games,” which is a great book, and its sequels feature four of the top five highlighted passages in books on Kindle, as well as eight of the top ten. The other two in the top ten are from Jane Austen. All ten of them were written, in other words, by women.
  • A mom-science-blogger calls TLC out on some vaccine-related silliness. TLC asked “why shouldn’t we vaccinate our children” as if doing so were a bad thing. Vaccinating is not a bad thing, there is no link between vaccines and autism and the paper that claimed there was was not only false, but deliberately fraudulent.
  • How do you feel about nounjectives, adjectives that become nouns? The good, the bad, the ugly and the like? Apparently some people have very strong negative feelings about them. I quite enjoy using the term “awesome” as a noun, personally.
  • Men can have sympathetic pregnancies. It’s called “couvade syndrome,” and it sounds pretty uncomfortable, although not as uncomfortable as actually having all your internal organs jammed up into your chest cavity to make room for a bonus human.

Exploding Manure, Insidious Weeds and a Geek in Power

Here are a few things you might find to be of general interest: