Halloween: Rapidly Becoming Truly Scary

Halloween might be the scariest holiday out there, at least for women and girls. The above image came from a Tumblr blog (warning: profanity).

I can’t say that I’ve ever watched Sesame Street, but Cookie Monster doesn’t look like the kid on the left, does it? Cookie Monster looks like the kid on the right. Do we really have to start sexualizing kids when they’re toddlers?

It’s bad enough that we already have this:

At least the woman in this “costume” is a woman, not a toddler.

And The Bloggess (warning: profanity here too), who found the above picture, also has a roundup of some “astronaut” costumes for women. None of which have a helmet and two of which don’t have pants, either. Because women astronauts wear skintight miniskirts, high heels and revealing shirts, obviously… with no helmets.

It’s great that some women are confident enough to dress up like this, I guess, but it’s getting to the point where there’s not a lot of other costumes out there. Everything either has a super short skirt or a plunging neckline, unless of course you’re plus-sized, in which case the solution seems to be … well. There isn’t much out there for plus-sized women at all. No idea what it’s like for big men, so maybe they have the same problem.

Is this really what the market is demanding? Maybe it is, but do we really want to foist that on toddlers, too?

Property Taxes: Whose Money Is in the Bucket?

I’ve had a few questions about several stories I’ve written about property taxes, and I would like to share with you my bucket analogy, which simplifies some of the complex things that determine a person’s property taxes.

Imagine a bucket. This bucket represents a single local taxing entity’s levy for a single year, payable the following year–for example, Stutsman County.

1. The governing body of that taxing entity determines the total amount of taxes to levy. That means Stutsman County sets the size of its own bucket. The state, though, usually has some limits on how big that bucket can be.

2. Every taxing entity has its own bucket.

When you pay property taxes, part of your money goes into the county’s bucket. But part of it goes into the city’s bucket, if you live in a city, or the township’s bucket, if you don’t, and part of it goes into the school district’s bucket. The county collects the property taxes for all these entities, but it doesn’t keep them, nor does it have any control over the size of anybody else’s buckets.

Now many factors help determine what goes into the buckets. I’ve written about a few of them. Below I’m going to use Stutsman County’s bucket as an example, but it’s not the only bucket involved, remember! And these three items are all specific to North Dakota.

1. The soils assessment. That was mandated by the state of North Dakota, and affects property valuation. Generally, the idea is to ensure that all land with the same type of soil that is used the same way is valued the same.

This will affect how much property owner A puts into the bucket compared to property owner B. If A had a lot of flood damage and couldn’t plant for several years, or if B just has better soil, B may end up putting more money into the bucket next year than A, even if they have the exact same amount of property.

That does not necessarily mean that B’s taxes will go up as compared with last year, however, because there are other factors. If the County Commission opts to levy less taxes, the county’s bucket will shrink, and require less money to fill it up. In fact, every taxing entity could levy a smaller tax and put out a smaller bucket. B will still pay more than A, but if the buckets shrink enough, B’s taxes could still be lower than they were last year.

2. The change in the statutory cap rate. This is part of how the state of North Dakota determines crop land values for the purposes of taxation. It’s a long mathematical formula.

Essentially, however, it helps determine how ag land is valued. In previous years, the statutory cap rate was held at a certain level by the Legislature, which kept ag land values lower. This year the Legislature did not vote to do that. (I don’t know how it reached that decision.)

This means that ag land values are going up 21 percent.

It still doesn’t necessarily mean that either A’s or B’s taxes will go up as compared with last year. Remember, the taxing entities still could shrink the size of their buckets enough to offset that 21 percent.

It does mean, however, that both A and B will be putting proportionally more into this bucket than last year as compared with C, who owns only residential land, and D, who only owns a business.

Do note that, given the size of the increase due to this issue, it is likely that A’s and B’s taxes will go up.

3. Another part of the complex mathematical formula for ag land values is determined by actual cropland landowner returns.

To keep this number from being volatile, and swinging wildly up during good years and wildly down during bad ones, it was decided that this number should be an average. So the formula takes the last ten years of cropland landowner returns, drops the highest year and the lowest year, and then averages them out.

Cropland returns have more than doubled since 2001, though, and they have increased nearly every year since then (except in 2004). So between 2011 and 2012′s formulas, a low year was dropped from the list of numbers to average and a high year was added. Even dropping the highest number and the lowest number meant there was an overall increase.

More math would be involved to show the precise effect of this, but essentially, that too affected the values of ag land relative to residential and commercial/business land, though not as much as factor 2 above.

This will have A and B putting proportionally more into the bucket compared with C and D than they did last year.

But it still doesn’t mean A and B’s taxes have gone up compared with last year, because the county still sets the size of its bucket, as does every other taxing entity.

4. Here’s one I haven’t written about. Stutsman County’s population decreased slightly between 2000 and 2010, but I’m not sure whether it changed during the past year.

If E and F bought and developed property in Stutsman County, they will have to help fill up the bucket. This means that A, B, C and D could pay proportionally less than they had the year before. However, they might not pay less taxes, because the county still sets the size of its bucket, as does every other taxing entity.

(Note: Just in case you’re wondering about the bucket picture above, it’s an internet meme. In other words, it became inexplicably popular for no discernible reason and a lot of people have seen it. If I’d wanted to mix the memes, I could have titled it something like “Yo dawg, I used to like buckets like you, but then I took an arrow in the knee.” But that might be silly.)

Why the Internet Will Fail

From a now-hilarious 1995 Newsweek article:

Then there’s cyberbusiness. We’re promised instant catalog shopping–just point and click for great deals. We’ll order airline tickets over the network, make restaurant reservations and negotiate sales contracts. Stores will become obselete.

There are quite a few other, equally giggleworthy quotes in this article, but it just goes to show you how difficult it is to predict the future. The one thing it seems you should never do is assume that the level of technology will remain static.

Contrast this with "The Space Merchants," which predicted product placements and other intrusive advertising back in 1952, but also predicted we’d terraform Venus. Still waiting on that part, I guess.

Edit: Forgot to mention, saw this at BoingBoing.

Worthington of the Past

I have a google alert set for Worthington, Minnesota, so I get little emails that tell me whenever Worthington is mentioned in a new website.

This time, I happened to have gotten two alerts on eBay sales postcards of the Worthington area. (Note that I’m not promoting eBay or the sellers of these postcards, as I have no idea who they are. I just like old local stuff.)

One is a hand-tinted postcard of "Okabena Lake" with "Does this look good to you?" scrawled on it. It also notes that it was made in Germany. It is dated 1909. The note on the back said it was May and had been snowing for two or three days.

The other is a set of postcards of Worthington street scenes, which includes images of Johnson’s Bakery, Ben Franklin, Habicht’s and of course the Hotel Thompson. I can’t hazard a guess as to the dates of these photos; the numbers written on them appear to be months, not years, but from the look of the cars it’s in the 1950s. What do you think?

Addendum: Oh, and District 518 Superintendent John Landgaard made the Star Tribune, commenting on the weather and how it’s affected District 518.

Technical Difficulties Are Evil

You probably didn’t notice, but we had some technical difficulties this weekend that prevented us from our planned live broadcast of the turkey race.

We also had technical difficulties with almost every other video production we had planned.

One camera was found to be missing its cord, so none of the footage could be taken off of it. Eventually our sysadmin figured out a workaround using a different cord, so that got fixed.

Then the DVDs of WGTN-TV3′s footage, which they kindly agreed to give us, also inexplicably didn’t work. The incomparable Randy Davis managed to sort that out today, and I’m currently rendering some parade clips for your perusal.

If all the technical difficulties had remained unfixed, we’d have been left with half a turkey race (Ruby Begonia’s half) and the KTD speaker, and that would have been it. Thanks to Davis and my sysadmin, though, who together fixed the problems, we also have the full turkey race, with a split screen so you can watch Ruby B. and Paycheck simultaneously, clips from the 10K, and clips from the parade.

I still wish we could have had the live feed work as it was planned, but three people, two computers, two routers and several very long cords, as well as the generosity of Brown’s Shoe Fit (they loaned us their internet connection), couldn’t make the darn thing work this year.

We’ll try it again next year, though, because I know a lot of people wanted to see it.

At the Farmers Market

In the space of one summer and the tiny bit of fall we’ve seen, the Tuesday afternoon Farmers Market has gone from a quiet affair known only to a few to a pretty big deal, with people waiting on the sidelines for the selling to begin and as far as I can tell, twice as many vendors as there were in the early days.

Part of that may have to do with the growing season, but I think part of it is also the market becoming more well-known as people catch on to the good deals and incredibly fresh produce and baked goods. It’s a sociable way to buy things, particularly if you work or live near the downtown area.

Today I took a few pictures at the market. Last time I focused on the brightly colored produce; this time I focused on the people, though of course I couldn’t help taking a picture or two of some bright red, orange and yellow peppers.

Here’s the gallery. Enjoy! I’m not sure how many of these will be left this year.

Coin Tosses Are Not Fair

Coin tosses aren’t fair after all, and they don’t have a 50-50 chance of landing heads or tails.

But it’s not because one side of the coin is heavier than the other. If you have a coin with no ornamentation at all, it’s still going to have a slight bias.

Why? Well, it has to do with the fact that the state you start a coin toss in, is the state the coin will stay in for slightly longer or equal time with its opposite. In other words, the coin will spend slightly longer or equal to the state the coin is tossed in, because it’s how you started.

If that doesn’t make sense to you, check out a much more clear explanation here.

How bad is the bias? It isn’t that bad. It’s about 49-51%, as a matter of fact, but that assumes you know which way the coin started. It’s still (more or less) fair if you don’t, so don’t throw away all your coins because they’re biased.

Or at least, throw them to me.

Shoes Glorious Shoes! And Toys!

Yesterday they blocked off the street and threw a Crazy Days sale type thing downtown.

The streets seem to be back to normal today, but I believe a lot of the businesses are still having fabulous sales. The shoes above are from Center Sports, and the shoes below are from Brown’s Shoe Fit.

But there were also toys from L’il Wizards, making me wish I had a kid in my family, which would give me an excuse to buy toys.

And possibly the most fun toy ever, for kids but possibly not for parents who just want some quiet.

And lots of apparel from Main Street Kids, and other neat stuff from Poise’n'Ivy and the other gift and craft shops down on that end of the road. There was too much there to take pictures of everything, and it’s apparently all indoors again today.

It’s a lot of work to move things in and out like that, so I hope they sold a lot yesterday. Be sure to stop by downtown and check out the shops!

Why You Should Never Give Muppets Coffee

If you feed a mogwai after midnight, it becomes a gremlin, but if you give a muppet coffee at any time, apparently it becomes a psychotic violent coffee-crazed lunatic.

Jim Henson‘s ads for coffee company Wilkins feature pre-muppets Wilkins and Wontkins and they feature a fairly repetitive pattern. Wilkins asks Wontkins if he likes Wilkins coffee, Wontkins replies in the negative and Wilkins does something violent, unpleasant and generally hilarious to Wontkins.

The commercials were only 7 to 10 seconds long, so they had to be fast and snappy, and because they were only puppets, they could get shot, beaten, blown up with a cannon, run over… apparently 1957-61 were not good years to be a muppet, unless you really liked instant coffee.

The commercials hold up very well today, if you don’t mind cartoon-style violence. Have a look!

Visiting the Farmers Market!

These are just a few of the tasty and pretty morsels for sale at the Worthington Farmers Market Tuesday. There are freshly baked goods, freshly-picked vegetables and fruit, jam, flowers, eggs, frozen whole chickens and wild rice, as well as a vast variety of other stuff.

The market lasts from 4 p.m. until 7 p.m. each Tuesday theoretically, but you should be at the old Campbells Soup parking lot right at 4 if you want to get anything, because sometimes everything is gone by 5:30 p.m.