I Got Engaged Last Night

I got engaged last night, but only in my dreams. Literally in my dreams.

I dreamed I was preparing for my wedding, and for some reason my aunt was in charge of the big event. (This actually makes a little bit of sense; all three of her children have gotten married and she knows how to do a slam-bang event.)

I was busily deciding what type of decorative flower should go on my wedding cake when it occurred to me to wonder who I was marrying.

I realized then that I had absolutely no idea who I was getting married to. Literally no idea. Now if this happened in real life, I’d freak out, but in the dream, I very calmly looked it up online, and found out I was engaged to someone who had in fact died in an accident. And if that had happened in real life I’m sure I’d be very upset, but in the dream I just wondered how my aunt was going to react when I told her the wedding was off.

I also wondered if we could still do the cakes.

After all, I’ve got my priorities straight.

I’m pretty sure the dream was a remix of some of the episodes of Poirot I’ve been watching lately. In one, a woman says “But then you never really know what someone’s like until after you’ve married them,” or something of that nature. In another one a pilot disappears and is presumed dead, and who precisely was engaged to him becomes a vital plot element.

So I think my brain squashed all these things together, fished up the memories of my cousins’ weddings and my own brother’s, and did a sort of bizarre mashup.

I suppose I was just lucky I hadn’t actually murdered my fiance in the dream. That really puts a damper on wedding fun.

Ah, Nature. Ah-choo!

If you’re seeing a lot of people wandering around with puffy eyes and runny noses, it’s because the pollen count is ridiculously high again, apparently across the entirety of North Dakota and a few other really unfortunate states.

I’ve had some success with loratadine and cetirizine, in that at least my eyes aren’t itchy anymore, but… well, I’m kinda looking forward to winter, now, because the pollen count doesn’t look like it’s going to let up any time in the immediate future.

 

Lefties Unite! With Your… Weird Scissors and Stuff

Today happens to be Left-Handers Day, dedicated to all you weirdos who use funny-shaped scissors and golf clubs and stand on the wrong side of the mound in baseball games.

Not being a lefty myself, I don’t have a lot to say about it, but I do like the old phrase “Only left-handed people are in their right minds,” due to the way the different sides of the brain control their opposite sides of the body (the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body).

There’s all kinds of interesting studies about the corpus callosum and what happens when it’s partially or fully severed, enough to make a person very glad that regardless of whether he or she is a lefty or a righty, at least the two sides “talk” to each other.

If you’re interested in how different parts of the brain influence how we think, I highly recommend “Brain Sex,” which focuses on gender but also covers a number of other issues with brain parts, such as the left-right stuff. Quite interesting!

A Wicked Bad Poisonous Brew

Coffee?

Coffee?

It’s probably for the best that I’m not married. If I were, my hypothetical husband might be a little worried about all the poison-related articles that I’ve been accruing. Then I probably wouldn’t be allowed to make the coffee anymore.

On the other hand, then I wouldn’t have to make the coffee anymore.

  • If I married an opossum it would be all right, because apparently it is impossible to poison an opossum. Of course, I would not marry an opossum. I do not even allow opossums to hang out in my garage.
  • If you suspect someone is attempting to poison you, here is a list of things to watch out for. Things that taste too bitter. Things that taste too sweet. Spouses. And exes.
  • Of course, not all poisons are deliberately administered. Sometimes they’re a result of a toxic spill.
  • And then there’s the poisoning that results from the use of lead bullets, which have conservationists and environmentalists worried about the condor again.
  • For other birds, it’s lead paint that causes problems.
  • Plus, we were stupid enough to use ethyl lead to stop the “knock” in our gasoline for years. Yes, that “Ethyl” is tetraethyl lead, and it caused factory workers to go insane and die due to exposure. Apparently levels of lead are still up…
  • And then there’s the dead themselves, who may be poisonous, even if they weren’t poisoned.

But if you want to get really exotic, you could poison someone with polonium. You’d really have to be an overachiever for that, though.

If I were you, I’d sit down and relax instead.

Have some coffee.

Olympics and Spoilers

I like to know the end of a story before I read it, and I like to know the ending of a movie before I see it. Yes, I like spoilers.

For me spoilers don’t spoil the story–they enhance it, because then I get to watch for beautiful foreshadowing and artful little details that should have tipped me off to the ending in the first place. Spoilers give me a window into the artistry of the art, and offer me another way of appreciating the work.

Of course I don’t assume anybody else feels that way. I don’t go around telling people “Oh by the way, Darth Vader is Luke’s father,” right before they watch Star Wars for the first time. That’d be mean.

At the same time, it’s nice to be vindicated by some actual science.

And in other, totally non-related news:

Review: The Dark Knight Rises

Every generation gets its own Batman, and perhaps each generation gets the Batman it deserves.

When movies are part of a set, like this one is, it’s hard to judge each one on its own merits, and there were a lot of high expectations from “The Dark Knight Rises,” the third movie in the most recent Batman trilogy.

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure why. “The Dark Knight” was indeed a great movie, with a virtuoso performance from the late Heath Ledger, but it lagged a bit in portions and featured an indifferent-to-just-bad performance from Maggie Gyllenhaal. Its aspirations toward an intellectual understanding of Batman and the nature of good and evil were worthy, though, and for the most part they were successful.

That’s not easy to do, and I’m not sure why anyone would think it could easily happen twice in a row. A great movie, yes. But not OMG AWESOME THE BEST MOVIE EVAR.

“The Dark Knight Rises” doesn’t quite ascend to that level, partly because it gets bogged down rather quickly with an enjoyably complex plot involving a full-scale war led by Bane, an intelligent, politically-astute warlord with great leadership skills.

It was an inspired choice to make Bane (Tom Hardy) the villain, but the film made one critical, critical mistake it only partially recovered from partway through the movie. That mistake was the design of Bane’s mask.

Poor Tom Hardy. Not only did he have to live up to the inevitable comparisons with Heath Ledger’s Joker from Dark Knight, but they expected him to do it with nearly the entire bottom half of his face covered up. That’s a pretty significant handicap for an actor.

And Bane is no Joker. He’s meant to be a more serious character. Saddling him with a still-slightly-cartoonish mask made it hard for the audience to find him even slightly credible. Hardy’s bizarre accent (which reminded me of Sean Connery’s in “The Untouchables”) did not help, although it might’ve been all right if it hadn’t been filtered through that stupid mask.

Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman fared a bit better, though I wished there had been more for her to do in the film. I kept getting the feeling there was more there, but the plot called for focus to stay on Bane, so we didn’t get to see it.

To be fair, the movie was extremely long, and like its predecessor it did drag a bit sometimes. Director Christopher Nolan seems to have become a victim of his own success in some measure–people seem to have been over-reluctant to cut away some of the fluff. Writers must sometimes edit out their favorite sentences and kill their darlings; filmmakers must do the same, and not enough of it was done in “Dark Knight Rises.”

There was much to like about the movie, however. The film’s ties to “A Tale of Two Cities” were interesting, and the depiction of a full-scale war of sorts in Gotham City was fascinating.

The supporting cast was stellar, as it was in “The Dark Knight.”

Gary Oldman is the best of all as Commissioner Gordon, who has to make tough choices throughout the movie, and bears the consequences as an adult conscious of the moral weight of his actions.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who plays a thoughtful young cop, willing to take risks to do what’s right. He has a great character arc.

Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox, Batman’s Q.We don’t get to see a lot of him in this movie, and perhaps that’s because we don’t need to. When he’s there, he’s key, of course.

Michael Caine’s Cockney-accented Alfred classes up the whole dang movie. This is no Jeeves, ladies and gentlemen. This is a man who takes his obligations seriously, and tries to give the best advice he can, given his awkward position as father figure and servant.

Marion Cotillard was totally wasted on this film, but really, when you had so many other characters who were marvellous, that seems like a minor quibble.

Oh, and Christian Bale turned in another credible performance as Batman and the ever-tortured Bruce Wayne, who has become a sort of mini-Howard Hughes in between the two movies. Dark, yes, but still sarcastic and happily for the audience, surprisingly non-angsty.

It was well-written and well-acted. The action scenes popped, and while the editing job was somewhat indulgent, arguably that indulgence was earned over the course of three very good Batman movies.

It was not OMG THE BEST MOVIE EVAR!!11!!!!11! Poor Tom Hardy’s mask and permissive editing didn’t allow for that.

But it was a good one, maybe a great one, and definitely worth seeing.

A Bit More on Pertussis

My story on pertussis this week didn’t focus too much on the cause of the recent uptick in whooping cough cases we’re seeing nationwide. Is it unvaccinated children? is it unvaccinated adults? something else?

Anne Polta did a wonderful examination of the question on her HealthBeat blog, and I recommend taking a look at it.

I do have to wonder if Minnesota’s recent uptick has anything to do with Andrew Wakefield’s visit. For the record, Wakefield’s “study” claiming autism is caused by vaccines was fraudulent and he deliberately falsified data for it. He is no longer permitted to practice medicine in the U.K. and his fraudulent “work” has been discredited in countless scientific fora.

North Dakota’s already seen more cases this year than it saw all year last year, but the really alarming numbers are coming out of Minnesota, where there have been 1,881 cases this year thus far.

I gathered the numbers for Minnesota’s pertussis cases for the last decade-and-change, all of which are available on the state’s Dept. of Health website. Here they are.

2012 1881 to date
2011 661
2010 1143
2009 1134
2008 1034
2007 393
2006 320
2005 1571
2004 1368
2003 207
2002 429
2001 308
2000 575

As you can see, and as I noted in my article, numbers for pertussis fluctuate quite a bit and there are plenty of ups and downs.

Yet this year isn’t just another “up.” The number of cases Minnesota has had in seven months has significantly outstripped the numbers from every other year since 2000. That’s the most recent year I had easy access to numbers for, too, so it might even go back further. I have no idea. However, this is definitely a matter for concern.

Part of the problem is that people are not vaccinating their children. Part of the problem is that adults are not getting vaccinated themselves.

I will (mostly) spare you the lecture on herd immunity and explanations of why it is critical that ordinary healthy adults stay updated on their vaccines, but I would like to note that whooping cough can be especially devastating to babies. Most people want to keep babies safe.

Health officials recommend that adults get a Tdap vaccination. People are supposed to get a Td booster every 10 years anyway, and Tdap takes the place of that, so you won’t even need any extra shots.

It’s virtually painless (the needle is ultra-tiny), most insurance companies pay for it and it’ll probably take less than half an hour. You don’t even need an appointment for it at some clinics.

And frankly, you don’t want to get whooping cough anyway. It sounds a lot like having the worst cold imaginable, and you can have it for more than six weeks. Having a minor cold for six days is bad enough for me, thanks.