The Perils And Pains Of Moving

Moving is painful and in the hopes of feeling like I’ve accomplished something in the past two weeks, I will detail the stages of moving here for your amusement. Feel free to laugh at me rather than with me; I don’t have the energy left over from moving for anything but a meaningful look at this point.

1. Packing. I didn’t have to do a lot of this, because most of my things were still packed from my earlier move. That’s a good thing, because I’m pretty much awful at it, having approximately the spatial awareness capability of a turnip.

I pretty much just threw as much stuff as I could into bags and then shoved it into my car. Since the new place is only across town from the old place, this actually worked and nothing was crushed into tiny little pieces.

2. Moving. This involves actually picking things up in one place and putting them down somewhere else. I moved the small stuff myself, causing an incredible array of aches and bruises, but for my anvil collection and my prized set of giant boulders, I had the assistance of coworkers Brian and John, both of whom have trucks, and more importantly, muscles that do not consist of 98% Grade A flab, like mine.

John is also gifted with some sort of moving superpower–he can fit way more stuff into one trailer than should be possible. It was like a clowncar, only instead of clowns coming out of the trailer, it was furniture. (Thank goodness. I mean, clowns. Brrrr.)

3. Cleaning. I haven’t even started on this, but I will have the invaluable help of my mother. She’s extremely persnickety about cleaning, and whoever gets my apartment after me will probably be able to eat off of any surface in it, up to and including the ceiling.

4. Unpacking. … do I have to? Isn’t there some statute on the books that says you must keep at least one box packed after every move for at least ten years?

Well there should be.

4 Responses

  1. John Singleton

    I think you mean “4. …at least one box still packed….”

    Other rules and observations:

    • The most important boxes to unpack first will be on the bottom, at the back.

    • The tools needed to put together the shelving units will not be found when you need to put together those units. However, after you have bought new tools and done the job, the old tools will be in the first box you put on the new shelves.

    • During your entire stay in your second house, you will wonder whatever happened to your favorite plushies, bric-a-brac, etc, that vanished during the move. Don’t worry, they will reappear when you unpack in your third house… by which time you will have lost any attachment to these dusty spider-covered things.

    1. Ahaha! Ain’t that the truth.

      Actually, I have dealt with the tool issue by not moving the tools yet. They’re still on the counter in the old place, with the nails I need to put together the table. Which is in two pieces, on the floor, in the new place.

      Totally logical!

      What could possibly go wrong.

  2. I’m feeling for you. I have moved twice in the last three years, after living in the same place for almost 25 years. Two things I have learned: 1. There truly is very little in material things that you need. (Let’s just say that shoppers at my local Goodwill have had MANY lovely things to choose from lately) and 2. If I ever need to move again, it will be over a period of a month. I had two apartments for a month, and it worked out much better. I had time to move the stuff I didn’t need on a daily basis, I had time to toss stuff I really didn’t need, and I had time to clean the new place. I don’t care how clean it looks, it’s not clean until I clean it. And yes, I still have a couple boxes in a closet from the last move that are still packed.

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