I’m getting old. I can remember the Smurfs and I liked My Little Pony long before it was cool. If it was ever cool. Okay, it probably still isn’t.

My point is, I’m about ten cats away from shaking my cane and demanding that those kids get off my lawn.

• How do I know? Well, I remember some of these 11 Sounds Your Kids Have Probably Never Heard.
• I actually still like the Jurassic Park font, despite it making this list of the Eight Worst Fonts.
• I wish they would start a dream recycling program here in Jamestown. I’m sure many of my old dreams, such as that of becoming a ballerina crop duster, could benefit a dream-impoverished child somewhere.

Hey, kid. Get off my lawn!