I am going to miss southwest Minnesota.
I blame physics. Apparently thereâ€™s some natural law or something about how you canâ€™t have one object in two places at the same time, and because Iâ€™m moving to Jamestown, N.D. this week, I canâ€™t simultaneously be in southwest Minnesota sipping pina coladas on the shores of Lake Okabena.
Stupid laws of nature. Sure, they keep us from falling off the planet or spontaneously combusting, but they also keep us from having cool stuff like cold fusion, perpetual motion, giants, eternal life and teleportation, not to mention fat-free desserts that taste good.
If you disobey the laws of nature, do you get arrested?
This is something I need to know. Iâ€™m taking a reporting position at the Jamestown Sun, which is owned by Forum Communications Company, the same company that owns the Daily Globe.
Unfortunately, this means I need to move every single object I own to Jamestown. Iâ€™m convinced that if I broke some laws of physics I could get it all done right quick.Â However, Iâ€™m a little worried about what would happen if I got caught, so maybe Iâ€™d better not.
Iâ€™m going to miss Lake Okabena, though, and all the people I met here, most of whom have helped me out in one capacity or another â€” given me guitar lessons, dragged my car out of the ditch, served as a source for a story or just read an article or two.
There are too many people to thank, and Iâ€™m fairly sure if I tried Iâ€™d have to start taking more drugs to combat my already-high blood pressure. And I would probably have to share those same drugs with my editor, because a list that long would take up the entire news section, even if we put it in print so small only gnats could read it. Small gnats. You know, the ones that bite.
Plenty of things make Worthington unique â€” the windsurfing, the turkey race, the multitude of cultures and the lake â€” but none of that makes it awesome. What makes Worthington and all of southwest Minnesota awesome is the people who live here.
I moved to Jackson in the middle of 10th grade, and my classmates made me feel welcome and wanted. I moved to Worthington almost six years ago, and here, too, I have felt welcome and wanted.
But, as Scotty from â€œStar Trekâ€ said, â€œYou cannae change the laws of physics!â€ and I canâ€™t be in two places at once. I am truly sorry to leave, and I am extremely grateful to have had the opportunity to get to know so many of you.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.