Yesterday was Mothersâ€™ Day, so I decided to write a little bit about my mom.
The problem is, I donâ€™t want to be sappy, and if I told any of the funny mom stories in public, sheâ€™d probably never speak to me again. And I like my mom, so thatâ€™s not an option.
My mom is smart, funny, and better-looking than me, which isnâ€™t fair. Sheâ€™s fun to hang around with, she knows what to do when youâ€™re hurt and she gives awesome advice.
My mom is also my biggest fan. This is normally a good thing, but lately, my duties at work have shifted a little bit and Iâ€™ve been writing news for the paper on a nearly-daily basis. Iâ€™ve more or less taken an unplanned hiatus from writing my blog, Oh Look! A Shiny Thing! in order to concentrate on the rest of the job.
Unfortunately, my mom is my biggest fan. Every time I see her now, she asks me why I havenâ€™t written anything on my blog lately.
I went home to visit my parents.
â€œYou need to blog more!â€
â€œI know, mom, but Iâ€™m kind of busy with other work.â€
I went home again at Easter.
â€œWhat happened to your blog?â€
â€œIâ€™m sorry! Iâ€™ll try to write more!â€
But I havenâ€™t.
Iâ€™m not a very good daughter, it seems, and Iâ€™m starting to get a little bit worried about my biggest fan. I keep thinking about that â€œMiseryâ€ movie â€” you know, the one based on a book by Stephen King? The one where an author gets held hostage by a crazed fan who forces him to write by threatening him with a sledgehammer?
Now Iâ€™m not saying my mom is crazy, but she is my mom, so the way I figure it, sheâ€™s got about a fifty-fifty chance of being a little bit, wellâ€¦ strange. Those odds arenâ€™t all that great.
So for Mothersâ€™ Day, here you go, mom. Hereâ€™s a blog post, just for you.
I love you.
Please donâ€™t break my ankles.