I have always regretted not being born Irish. It seems to have been a sad oversight on my parents’ part.
I like the color green. I love Irish music, and if I could get the Chieftains to visit Worthington I would probably spontaneously combust with happiness. I own an Irish wedding band, despite being neither Irish nor married.Â I know what a banshee is, and I even know it really ought to be spelled “bean sidhe.” Though I have never tasted corned beef and cabbage, I have actually seen it with my own eyes without suffering any noticeable trauma.
I really should have been born Irish.
I don’t understand why Norwegians don’t have a holiday as cool as St. Patrick’s Day, either. I mean, what does it take to get a holiday?
First, we’d need a date. Since Ireland’s holiday is named after a saint, I think we might borrow the idea for Norway and celebrate the country’s patron saint, St. Olaf. He apparently has a few different feast days, but I’d go with Aug. 3, based on the lack of existing holidays that month.
We’d need a symbol of some kind, like the shamrock. I’d suggest a snowflake, or maybe a rock (symbolizing the fjords). The real Olaf was King of Norway, so maybe a crown would be better. We should probably have a color, too. Most of the Norwegian flag is red, but personally I always think of Norway as blue, or maybe a frosty white.
The food would probably have to be traditional Norwegian cuisine. This wouldn’t include lutefisk, because one holiday that includes lutefisk is, in my opinion, one too many, and we already have the darn stuff at Thanksgiving and Christmas. So maybe the traditional St. Olaf’s Day cuisine would be limited to lefse and rice pudding.
St. Olaf’s Day would also need to include some fun activities. St. Patrick’s claim to fame was chasing the snakes out of Ireland. St. Olaf, on the other hand, was known for slaying a sea serpent and tossing it onto a mountain. Granted, that’s only one serpent, but it was really big, so I’d say Olaf wins out over Patrick any day.
Maybe the Norwegian festival could include snake-tossing as a competitive event. We shouldn’t use real serpents, though, because that would really tick off the RSPCCSS (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Creepy Sea Serpents).
Think St. Olaf’s Day has a chance of getting off the ground in America?