Bonehead Slides Into Ditch On Perfectly Clear Day

What a bonehead!
What a bonehead!

Normally we don’t use the word “bonehead” to describe someone in a headline at the Globe, but in this case we have permission.

Today, someone who will remain totally anonymous was driving on Nobles County 5 south of town. She was not supposed to be driving on Nobles County 5 south of town. She was supposed to be on 35, wherever that is. She never did figure out where that was, actually. It’s probably in the Bermuda Triangle, right next to Shangri-La and the socks that disappear in the dryer.

But she was going the wrong way, and she knew it, so she slowed down and tried to turn around, heading onto the shoulder. Unfortunately, her car decided to just keep on going, and she slid partway into the ditch. The whole thing happened very slowly, with the car practically floating  into the snow, coming to rest with a crunch. I, I mean she, was totally powerless to stop the car, which ended up with two wheels buried in about two feet of snow, and two wheels still on the shoulder.

“Shoot,” she said. Only she didn’t say shoot.

She called her coworker and quick as a wink, not just one but three coworker-rescuers showed up, armed with boots and mittens and hats and shovels. And then one of their dads came with a truck and a chain and pulled the car right out of the ditch.The car was fine.

It was like magic. Magic with a chain and an axle and a four-wheel drive truck. And four people who are, in fact, awesome.

Thanks for bailing me out, guys. Bonehead Girl will avoid the shoulder in the future. I promise.

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