Creepy, Repellent Mascot

We watched a lot of television over the holidays, my family and I, and we all had the misfortune of having to watch commercials with one of the more irritating corporate mascots out there: the Crazy Target Lady.

The Crazy Target Lady is apparently a housewife who has gone completely insane over Christmas sales, and not in a fun, silly way that involves wearing your underpants on the outside of your clothes or mixing all the kinds of soda into one bottle.

I have the same trouble with the Crazy Target Lady as I do with the character Terri Schuester on Glee. While they are both funny, in a queasy, cringe-inducing way, they are also both awful. The fact that they are fictional does not allow you to turn off your recollection of people you know who are, actually, that bad. And they have the exact same effect on you as the real people who are that bad have: after a bit of time listening to them, you want to run away. Far, far away.

It’s not the actresses’ fault. It’s the way the characters are written. And maybe, for those people who haven’t ever met a Terri or Target Lady in real life, the characters would be awesome and funny. But for the rest of us, it just strikes a little too close to home.

The Glee writers seem to have caught on to this, and have been using Terri sparingly, in small doses that do not make me want to hurl my television out the window. (This is good, because I watch Glee on my laptop, so it wouldn’t help anyway.)

I hope not to see the Target Lady again. Like the eerie plastic-faced King of Burger King, she will probably haunt my dreams anyway.