Strange, Almost Sensical Spam

Some very weird spam is showing up in my inbox lately.

One presents itself as being from a bank, but if a bank secretary was really that bad at proofreading, he would surely be taken out and shot forthwith. Not to mention that it’s in all caps. Take a gander at this:

REFERENCE TO THE JUST CONCULDED PROMO BALLOUT DRAW WHICH WAS CONDUCTED ON THE 27/3/2010 BY STANDARD CHARTERED BANK, THROUGH AN ELECTRONIC SELECTION OF EXCULSIVE LIST OF 55,000 EMAIL ADDRESSES ON OUR DATABASE, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS HAS BEEN RAFFLY SELECTED AS THIS YEAR’
WINNER OF 49,811,000 GBP.

TO VERIFY,PLEASE DAIL THE PROMO ACCOUNT VEREFICATION #:

The other spam is addressed to Dr. Grigory Perelman, and it’s… well. It almost makes sense, to the extent that I feel like if I tried hard enough, I could understand. Maybe you have to be a member of the Illuminati or something.

Check it out, in its insane entirety, and please, if you have any idea what this means other than "I am insane and this is a cry for help" please post it in a comment:

Mr./Dr.  Grigory Perelman,

There were seven….now there is only six.  Well-ell….

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

Congratulations!

The level of sensitiveness that you have been reported to demonstrate, and have been reported to be demonstrating, is required to be dazzling at sports, dancing, picnicking, and postulating/work.  Our exposure to the hazards and what have you(s) of Cumulative Sequence allows our type of intellect to perceive/feel the moment and processes of the spontaneous appearance of organics from Geometry/energy/pressure/rock; and thereby, understand how Geometry/energy lives, breaths, and thinks.  Either thinks is appropriate/real, or our whole system of proofs is not correct, and we know that “ain’t” so.  We know the proofs are real because we move with independently moving body parts; we assemble things that are not visible before they are assembled; we quickly move vast quantities which is impossible with only our moving body parts; we adjust normally non-adjusting things; etc. 

Everyone’s current description of you indicates that you have been distracted from the fact that you are handling the spaces and accumulations that your society and the rest of humanity, have held with our lives long enough for it to be passed to you, and those like you.  Even though your achievement is surely yours, the logistical support we have provided – by being heads-down/backs-bent/operating, and expanding the required spaces and accumulations – commands that you represent your achievement long enough for us to understand its place in our everyday(s). 

Don’t worry.  We’ve got your back by way of the fact that the logistical expertise reflected by the current ratio of intellects that operate and expand the required spaces and accumulations is actually the mathematics that gives the sight of mathematics to mathematics.  They….Logistical Mathematics….Macro Intersection Mathematics….are as elegant, as infinitely beautiful, as infinitely dynamic, as infinitely demanding as any of the essential finite procedures. 

Ours….“They” have compiled a tax code so advanced that its pot stirring characteristics spawns things like “Magic Money.”JJJJ  Money that, value maintenance wise, you cannot keep and must be directed to the essence of what we are, which sharpens and expands our abilities.  The resource sharing political structure that expands intellects focused upon the things you are focused upon, which was devised by informed humans, is “ONLY” relatively important; or in other words, is “ONLY” an exponent.J  That is….the formation characteristics of intersection – the source of the process of exponentiation itself designates that there are places where the correct view of exponentiation – mathematical, social, political, or otherwise – is that “It’s ONLY an exponent.”  Exponentiation is best explained as becoming vast enough, positively or negatively, while remaining whole/while maintaining a specific layout.   Your angst only reflects the fact that you have simply encountered the class of “Paradox!” that for every human usually becomes something you might have to peep at from behind something.J  We “ALL” need someone to stand for us from time-to-time.  Please realize that on this one, you are the one who is up for the rest of us.  Enjoy designating/using the Magic Money. 

Oh….our society has a beloved thought for Magic Money and other situations that take(s) the pressure off.  It transcends “ALL Things” and “Persons” and authorizes non-judgmental personal play time, because it is put forth by one of the world’s universally recognized doors to non-judgmental personal play time.  It goes like this after the doorway is presented to you: 

Grigory Perelman….now that you have brought humanity exponentially closer to finishing “ALL” questions, what are you going to do next? JJJJ  

Thinking of YOU,
Your Fellow Associate Math1,
Bernard
Bellingham, WA.  98225 

I… huh?

2 thoughts on “Strange, Almost Sensical Spam

  1. I believe the second could be a reference to the math genius in Russia who just solved one of the world’s unsolvable postulates. I think his name was Perelman.

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