The Newest Bible Translation: LOLCat

The latest, silliest translation of the Bible simply must be the LOLCat Bible Translation.

I had a teacher once who liked to say: "I don’t care what translation of the Bible you read, as long as you read it." In that spirit, here are some examples of the LOLCat Bible, with NRSV verses along with them for reference.

Genesis 1:1-3

NRSV: In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters.

LOLCats: Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem. Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz. At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.

Psalm 23: 1-3

NRSV: The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.

LOLCats: Ceiling Cat iz mai sheprd (which is funni if u knowz teh joek about herdin catz LOL.) He givz me evrithin I need. He letz me sleeps in teh sunni spot an haz liek nice waterz r ovar thar. He makez mai soul happi an maeks sure I go teh riet wai for him. Liek thru teh cat flap insted of out teh opin windo LOL.

Ecclesiastes 1:2

NRSV: Vanity of vanities, says the Teacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.

LOLCats:  "St00pid! St00pid!" Sez teh teechurcat. "Srsly st00pid. Everythingz st00pid."

Luke 21:34

NRSV: Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.’

LOLCats: Jesus sed, "Ceiling Cat, forgiv dem, dey duzint know what dey iz doin."

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