I turned 29 last week. I had to clarify this to a few people by adding "for the first time," so they’d know I was really 29 and not a botoxed, surgically-enhanced 47 year old. You never know these days, do you?
If you don’t watch the gossip and celebrity news, you may not be aware of the controversy involving the most recent cover of the magazine "W," which featured Demi Moore in sort of a golden gladiator outfit with epaulets and a loincloth. The issue is whether or not a clumsy photo editor erased part of Demi’s hip to make her look thinner, even though she ranks as one of the world’s most beautiful women without being artificially slimmed down by airbrushing.
Movie stars like Moore are beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but they can also afford a home gym, a home swimming pool, a personal trainer, a personal chef and maybe even someone who just follows them around and slaps their hands whenever they think about doughnuts. The rest of us can’t afford a doughnut-thought-watcher. My entire fitness staff is limited to the nice folks at the YMCA, who really do have better things to do than follow me around and remind me that I’m supposed to be watching my blood pressure.
But even if I had a home gym, a home swimming pool, a personal trainer, a personal chef and a don’t-even-think-about-that-doughnut servant, I still wouldn’t look like a movie star.
The problem is, these days sometimes even the movie stars don’t look like movie stars.
Everyone expects the women on magazine covers to be wearing makeup, which by the way women sink millions of dollars into every year in order to attempt to look as good as someone like Demi Moore.
Of course, movie stars also often have professional make-up artists, and yes, I do mean artists. When I wear makeup, I apply four or so products with a brush, a spongey thing and my fingers, along with prayer. I’m guessing movie stars end up with 20 to 30 products on their faces before they even make it to the room the magazine cover shoot will be, placed by people who use makeup like DaVinci used paint.
Moore denies her picture for "W" was altered (and she may certainly be telling the truth), but plenty of publications are very up-front about the fact that they edit the stars on their covers – the stars who already have the benefit of having lots of money to spend on makeup, training, diets and equipment.
I’m glad these publications are honest about the editing they do.
But isn’t it just a little sad?
Somehow, these women, whether they’re singers, movie stars or even professional models, are not pretty enough. Apparently, almost no one is pretty enough to be on the cover of a magazine anymore, at least, not without a little photo editing to make them just a little more perfect.
What about the rest of us, who must somehow survive without a group of professionals maintaining, fixing, and finally editing us into perfection?
Ask me next year, when I turn 29 again.