Strange Police Calls

Police have to deal with robberies, thefts, drugs, and drunk drivers, but they also have to deal with people who get lost, people learning to drive, animal complaints, difficult mediation circumstances and some very, very strange crime reports.

Here are a few from the past couple of weeks, with names and locations stripped in order to avoid embarassing anyone. Take the time to thank your local law enforcement officers.

Things They Don’t Tell You at the Academy

  • Sept. 16: Driver evalutation (sic). (Incident reports are sometimes written in a hurry and contain minor spelling or grammar errors, like any rough draft will. I’m fairly sure the full reports are proofed and cleaned up before they’re considered done.)
  • Sept. 16: 911 call reports elderly female who seems lost. She went out for a walk and just got a little lost. (She must have been embarassed, but you know, this can happen to anyone. I could get lost in some parts of Worthington too.)
  • Sept. 19: Reports an elderly male is missing. He has Alzheimer’s. (Don’t worry, he was found. And no, this is not funny at all, but is just an example of what police deal with every day, so I thought I’d put it up.)
  • Sept. 23: Office reports receiving second-hand report of several juveniles smashing melons on parking lot. Spoke with group of juveniles who were eating melons, had to break them first.
  • Sept. 25: Reports driving complaint. (Car) driving over the center line, slowing down and then speeding up. Party was helping the driver with his instructional permit learn to drive.
  • Sept. 26: Reports problems with paying for his vehicle being serviced. Complainant upset with a bill that is higher than he thought it should be. Advised him of his options.
  • Sept. 27: Two 911 calls, same apartment. Female and male co-complainants, both want the other to leave. Officers mediated the problem.

Wild Kingdom

  • Sept. 16: Reports raccoons running around the neighborhood.
  • Sept. 20: Reports a half-dead cat on the road.
  • Sept. 26: Reports sheep in the road. Checked the area, negative contact.
  • Oct. 1: Reports a skunk in his live trap.

Your What Was Stolen?

  • Sept. 27: Reports theft of fossils. Fossils were not stolen, fossils fell off car and owner forgot about them.
  • Sept. 28: Reports theft of coffee.


  • Sept. 15: Dept. of Transportation mower tipped over. Driver was ok. No injuries.
  • Sept. 19: Damage to squad car while in the car wash–took off the side mirror. (Far, far easier to do than you would think. I hesitate to point to the person I know who did the same thing while backing out of a driveway, but suffice it to say she had lived there for 7 or so years and the tree didn’t exactly sprout up suddenly that day. These things can happen to anyone.)