Today’s Other Major Holiday

Today is King Turkey Day, and the people of Worthington will unite to celebrate the sprinting prowess of our elite racing turkey, Paycheck, and this is as it should be.

However, most of us will completely fail to mark the occasion of today’s other holiday, though it is celebrated internationally by people of all ages.

That’s right, folks, it’s Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Today, you should be greeting people with either "Ahoy," or with a simple "Arrrr, matey." Should someone annoy you, you should call them a "lily-livered lubber," and optionally, you may threaten to keelhaul them. Instead of saying "Stop that," today is a good day to say "Avast" or even "Belay that." You can call your friends "Me hearties."

Talk Like a Pirate Day is a good day to talk about rum, whether you drink any or not (and please don’t if you’re an underage pirate), and singing "Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest" or "Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life for Me)."

Note that Talk Like a Pirate Day celebrates the romanticism of pirates, and does not imply you support actual pillaging, plundering or piracy. It does, however, give you the option of wearing a pirate hat and saying "Arrrr," all day, or at least until your friends and family threaten you with death until you stop.

But you don’t have to stop. Just tell them you’ll make them walk the plank.

Visit for more on Talk Like a Pirate Day, mateys!