Typing Like a Drunken Monkey

Today when I tried to do a couple of simple searches and entered in a few simple words (the darling anton chekhov, to be exact), I got very worried very quickly. I thought I was typing normally, but what was actually coming up on the screen was a bunch of gobbledygook. It made no sense.

There were slashes every couple of words, and the letter G always seemed to be immediately followed by the letter F. H and J seemed similarly connected.

Why was I typing like a drunk person?

I started watching myself type and briefly went back to the tried-and-true "hunt and peck" method, just so I could see if I was mistyping.

I wasn’t. What I typed, and this time I was absolutely sure, was this: The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

What came out, however, was this: Thje quick brown fgox jhumped over thje lazy brown dogf.

Hooray! I wasn’t insane, drunk, or suffering the after-effects of some bizarre stroke. It was my keyboard. I unplugged it, plugged it back in, and tested it. Yep, the g was still attached the h and I’m not even sure what the K button was thinking, because it kept shuffling the cursor off somewhere else.

The keyboard was too sick to live and it had to be put down. We brought an old ergonomic keyboard up from the basement (as you can see from the picture, it is a mite dusty), one with nice key clicks and all the white letters in sharp relief against the black plastic. Where the old one ended up, I have no idea.

Maybe robot heaven.