Mini-Rental Review: The Lost Boys

I was in the mood for movies this weekend, so I rented a wide variety of flicks, from 80s cheese to modern masterwork and about everything in between.

The worst of the lot was "The Lost Boys," a vampire movie with Kiefer Sutherland playing a bleached-blond bad boy vamp. What is it with vampires and peroxide anyway?

The movie was one of the least convincing takes on vampirism I’ve ever seen.

I just cannot bring myself to be frightened by vampires who look like they belong to an 80s hair band, complete with perms. I mean, perms? I would be offended to be killed by someone who looked like the guys in the photo on the left there. (And the styles in general are very 80s. The vampire chick wears this jacket with gigantic epaulets for heaven’s sake.)

And preteen vampire-hunting commandos? No. I’m sorry, just no. Even if you are Corey Feldman.

The movie had lots of gore, too, which I vaguely remembered from having seen it on TV ages ago, but the gore was totally and completely unconvincing.

The fake blood pretty much looked like Karo and food coloring, and I’m reasonably sure I could whip up something better at home in my kitchen sink, even though I have no experience in the creation of fake blood.

… oh good lord.

They made a sequel.

This is a great movie for watching with friends who like making fun of movies. I definitely highly recommend it on that basis.